new year's eve is kinda dumb

I am not a "New Year's Eve" kind of person. I do not like staying up late. If I am up past 10:00, it is usually not my choice and I am usually not happy about it. I don't really like loud things and big parties and crowds of people. And all of those things seem to be associated with New Year's Eve.

Plus, I just don't see it. All this fuss over the turning of a calendar page. The clock ticking from one day to the next. Because that's what it really is. I know that I have to put a new calendar on the wall and start remembering to write 2011 on my checks (because I still write checks... I don't even have a debit card....). But all I really see in another new day.

And I wonder why all this fuss doesn't go in to celebrating each new day. Why don't we stop each night and count up the blessing from that day? (Like breathing in and out, and seeing the birds at the birdfeeder....) Why don't we, each morning, look ahead to the adventures of the day to come? (Like going to the grocery store, and taking a walk after dinner....) Why do we wait until the end of one year and the beginning of the next to take stock and celebrate?

So.... I suppose I will be putting in an appearance at the New Year's parties I've been invited too. I suppose I will laugh and smile and eat and play with all of the other revelers.

But I'll also be home long before the "ball drops." And, as 2010 winds down, I'll do what I do every night before bed - sit in meditation and thanks for the day that was. And tomorrow morning, as 2011 starts up, I'll do what I do every morning - sit in meditation and thanks for the day ahead.

you capture - holiday favorites

Although this holiday was filled with much joyous hustle and bustle and baking and eating and fun and laughing, I think it is the quiet moments that stand out most in my mind.


Christmas Eve at home....





Christmas morning sunrise...



Finding a quiet place to walk in the aftermath...

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see more at Beth's

new and old

This week of the year always seems a bit odd, a bit off, to me.

After all the build-up to Christmas, the baking and the lights and the trees and the decorations and the wrapping and the happy.... It's over. And there's this feeling of "now what?"

Once things are over and done, I don't necessarily like to linger, but I also kind of have a hard time letting go. I've got most of my holiday decorations packed up and put away. But the tree is still up, still shining in the window. It will make me sad to take it down this weekend.

There are also some random presents still lying about. I tend to do that. I think it's because I like the newness of them. Sometimes, when things are new, I really want them to stay new. I don't want to use them or wear them out or break them in. I don't know why. I've been that way for as long as I can remember. I try to keep things perfect and new. And I get a little sad when I finally do have to use them and make them not new anymore. Which, I guess, is extra odd since all of the material things that are most special to me are nowhere near new, and haven't been for a long time.

Yesterday I bought new running shoes. I should have done it months ago. But this morning, I sat and stared at them for a long time before I actually put them on. Then there was this really long pause before I went out the door. Because once they hit the pavement, they weren't new any more. They were just shoes.

today, by the numbers

36 - years I've spent on Earth, as of today

30 - minutes I spent in meditation this morning

90 - minutes of yoga following the meditation

10 - number of miles run following the yoga

5 - number of months since I've been able to run that far

105 - number of minutes it took me to run that far

4 - number of times on the run that my knee did that popping thing that causes me to hop a little

0 - number of times I thought about stopping the run

1 - pieces of fudge I've eaten today (so far...)

countless - number of blessings I have

you capture - Christmas magic (lights)

I am a firm believer in Christmas magic.



And I believe that much of that magic in brought forth in lights.



There are just so many lights.

So much brightness.

So much illumination.

It makes it hard for darkness to take hold.

I hope you see it, too.

I hope Christmas is magic for you, too.

"Wonder comes smiling to our storm-cursed world; Storm stops, night stops, darkness takes flight!" - Tony Abbott, Kringle

Merry Christmas!

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See more at Beth's.

christmas list

1. I've noticed that, for some reason, Christmas Spirit seems to be lacking this year. I don't know why. But I try to share mine, usually in the form of baked goods.


2. I don't have children, but I'm around them quite a lot. And they've got the Spirit. And they aren't afraid to flaunt it. And they made me smile.

2. When The Polar Express was new and in the theater, I took my cousin's daughter to see it. When it got to the end, where Santa takes off, and the elves start their elf party, and the party entertainment in Steven Tyler, I literally sat up bolt straight and pointed at the screen, because ohmygosh it's Steven! And there was no one there who understood my happiness. But as the credits were rolling and the lady sitting behind me and I were bundling up our respective small children, she looked at me and said "That was Steven Tyler, right?!?" And I said "YES! Ohmygosh it WAS!" And we both giggled and went on with our day.

3. If you look at the printed lyrics of the song Steven Tyler sings in The Polar Express, the lyrics read "blow your horn and swing that girl." But if you listen to the song on The Polar Express soundtrack, I reeeeeallly don't think that's what he actually says. I do believe he says "blow" and that he says "swing that girl." But, um, the rest? I don't think he mentions a horn.

4. Do They Know It's Christmas by Band Aid stands as one of the great cultural moments of my life. I mean, Bono, Sting, and Simon LeBon all on one microphone at one time? I wanted to be that microphone at one point in my life. In addition, my cousin and I used to sing "feed the squirrels" instead of "feed the world."

5. This was my boss on the last day of school before Christmas break. Yep. Dressed as Buddy the Elf and skateboarding through the hallways.

6. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) as sung by U2 makes me instantly happy. When I actually get to see the video, I might squeal just a little. Especially that little look that Edge gives to Bono. Yeah. You might not have any clue what I mean. Just trust me. It's adorable.

7. I Believe in Father Christmas, as sung by U2, is Hubby's favorite Christmas song.

8. Hubby and I have a week of "holiday meals" planned. So I bought Santa napkins, just to make things a bit more festive.

9. I sent out more Christmas cards this year than ever before. I think I am one of four people who sent out Christmas cards this year. But I love Christmas cards. I see it as a nice way to say hello and send love and peace and happiness to people that you don't often get to see or talk to; just a way to let them know you think of them and wish them good things.

10. I think I might have a problem. The Lindt dark chocolate peppermint truffles would be in this photo also, except that I ate them all already. But don't worry. We bought more last night. Seriously. I think I might have a problem.

you capture - outside

We had a bit of a storm in my area. I really wasn't keen to go outside in it. Not even to run. I just kind of stared out of the window.

Eventually I got a little closer to the window, just out of curiosity, since I couldn't really see what was happening outside, what with all the snowing and the blowing and the zero visibility.

But it finally stopped, or slowed, or whatever, and I made it out the back door....

.... and into the yard.

I really love winter. And I'm not even kidding. I love this.

**********

see more at Beth's.

the north pole, but a little further south

Every year, just after Thanksgiving, packages that I didn't order start arriving on my doorstep. Initially, it freaks me out - a package sitting on my porch, addressed to me, when I know I did not order anything from Target (at least, not lately). But then I giggle a little and grin and realize that, no, I didn't order it. Best Friend ordered it. And it's a Christmas present for one of her two girls.

I love that. I love that all the Christmas gifts for my goddaughters start out at my house. I love that Best Friend and I will talk in code about what has arrived or has yet to arrive. I love opening the boxes and seeing what will make those girls smile on Christmas morning. I love that they have no clue that this happens. And I will love, when they are older, telling them the stories about how my house was, in fact, their North Pole.

musings on a snow day

Last night, the wind howled and the snow flew. When the sun came up, this was the view out of my back porch.

We had a snow day today. I love snow days. I don't even care that they have to be made up later. I fully accept them for the gift that they are. Usually I use a snow day to finish up all of the work I had brought home but didn't do. But I finished all of my work last night. (I was planning to hand it all back this morning.) So I was staring at a day with no work, no plans, and no obligations. I didn't know those existed. I wasn't sure what to do.

I made some hot cocoa for breakfast. Then I settled onto the couch to watch It's a Wonderful Life. And I watched out the window as the snow continued to blow and drift.

I made chocolate chip cookies and listened to Christmas music. I once heard that you shouldn't be snowbound without chocolate chip cookies, so, you know, I had to honor that rule.

I ventured out into the wind and the snow and the blowing to mail off some Christmas packages.

I came home and made dinner.

I shoveled snow with Hubby.

Now I'm going to drink tea and watch a Christmas movie.

This has been the best day in a long time.

finding some happy

It's busy. Really busy. Crazy busy. Created busy. I'm having to fit things in where I can. And I'm finding it hard to keep any kind of balance right now. I'm trying. Oh, am I trying. But most of the time, I'm not succeeding.

But I'm trying. And I'm looking for those small things. The little things that can bring a smile, a few moments of happiness, a giggle. Those small moments can be a saving grace in a maddening day.

I found a few this weekend. Some just waiting for me, some made by me. But they were there.

I hope you find some happiness, too.

party on

I don't like parties. I don't like gatherings. I don't like large groups of people.

I just don't.

I'm in the minority on this. I know that. Especially in my little corner of the world.

I'm surrounded by people who like to gather and party and be a large group of people. Often. Maybe even as much as possible.

I shouldn't even say I don't like parties. Sometimes they're nice. Occasionally. Once in awhile. But not all the time.

Because I also like time to not have to go to a party or gather with a large group of people. Sometimes out of necessity, as in there is so much other stuff that needs to be done (whether at work, at home, whatever) that there just isn't time to cram in another thing. Sometimes out of lack of desire, as in I am just not in the mood to be around a large group of people and I want some (gasp!) time that's quite and/or mine.

Sometimes it's nice to be able to miss people. To wonder what they've been up to, how they're doing. It makes it nice to see those people again, to gather with them and sit and talk and eat and whatever.

But sometimes there's just too much togetherness. (I don't have to wonder what you've been up to because I just saw you....) And then it doesn't feel like fun to gather with people I love and care about. It becomes another on a long list of obligations. And that's not fun at all.

Is that a scrooge-ish sentiment? Maybe. Probably.

But I feel it, all the same.


(I will most likely be tarred and feathered for saying all of this.)

you capture - sweet

Yes, Virginia....

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see more at Beth's.

in the spirit

These two Marine sergeants, both combat veterans, had a very different mission Friday night.


They stood outside the local chocolate shop, in 17 degree temperatures, collecting toys for Toys for Tots. They collected seven (!) boxes full of toys for local children. People who didn't have a toy gave cash. People who didn't have cash stopped and shook these men's hands and said "thank you." It was amazing.


Inside the shop was amazing, too. It was wall to wall people, standing shoulder to shoulder. Children and adults of all ages, packed in to ward off the cold with cocoa or coffee. The line wound all through the little shop, then doubled back around. The wait was long. And no one complained. People were kind. They were understanding. They smiled and chatted with strangers. All employees were there. Most donating their time. Some had been there since the shop opened at 7 a.m. And no one complained. They were smiling and laughing and serving warmth of all kinds.

The bell choir from a local church was playing there, too. People (small children, too!) sat in silence, smiling, listening to this amazing choir play Christmas carols in the most beautiful fashion.

I found the Christmas spirit. It was alive and well, and reminding everyone present that evening just what this season is all about. That was pretty amazing, too.

you capture - kindred

I went to a friend's wedding last weekend. (She got married the way I did, over Thanksgiving weekend.) They were married in a barn. It was beautiful and special and unique.

She and her new husband are a perfect match. I'm not sure I've ever seen two people fit together better. Kindred spirits for sure.

I guess it's only natural that, at someone else's wedding, you think about your own wedding. And I did. And that's hard for me, because, looking back now, with what I learned after the fact, with everything that happened after the fact, I don't have a lot of happy wedding memories.

Hubby and I talk about that sometimes. And sometimes we talk about having a "do-over." Maybe, some day, we will. Or, maybe, we won't.

Either way, any way, we're still pretty kindred ourselves.

That doesn't change.

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see more at Beth's