Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Marriage
Have you ever thought that maybe you're just not good at being married? Because I think that. Kind of a lot. I love my husband. I certainly don't regret getting married. But I think that maybe I'm not very good at it. I tend to get upset rather easily, especially about things that I think are pretty obvious and others don't see it. And then I'm not so good at letting it go. Like, if you say sorry, what does that really do? It doesn't change it. I'm still upset about it. Especially when it's something that has happened multiple times. So, what am I supposed to do in those situations? That's a real question that I'm looking for someone to answer for me. I mean, I haven't been married very long, it the three year mark not so long ago. And the first two years were really rocky. So it's just kind of now trying to settle in and figure things out. I'm still learning. But I really tend to question my ability in this area. And I can't always turn to chocolate. That will just send me back into the whole insecurity thing. So, anyway..... I'm just kind of wondering this today. I'll ponder more and see what I come up with.
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2 comments:
You are good at it, if you just trust yourself.
That is the wonderful thing about being married, you don't have to think you are good at it. You don't really even have to be good at it. I personally don't think I am a very good spouse. I get crazy jealous and I am quick to anger. When I get angry, I yell and sometimes throw things. However, even when I am not being a good spouse, my spouse still loves me. It upsets him when I am angry, not because I am angry at him, but because I am not happy. He truly wants me to be happy all the time. Then I feel guilty because I am not as altruistic as he is. It has not always been this way. We have had a LONG time to get here. You know this. What I try to remember, especially when I am frustrated and wonder if I should live by myself, is that at the end of the day my very favorite place is snuggled under the covers with my spouse. I couldn't do that if I lived by myself. So I wake up the next day and try to be a little bit better for him and for us.
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