You Capture - The Feeling of Fall

Can you feel it?

Feel Fall over at Beth's!

Please, please, please, let me, let me, let me.....

So, I am in desperate need of some alone time. As in just me, all alone. By myself.

Is it wrong to want that? Because I kind of feel like I need it.

I tend to be a more solitary person by nature. I'd rather do something quiet and simple and solitary and small than be in a big group doing something big and loud and crazy. But what keeps me sane is time all by myself. Not, like days on end. Just a few hours every now and again. And the crazier life gets, the more I need those few hours.

Like, um, now.

July is a distant memory. I am going All. The. Time. And this year seems crazier and fuller and just more than previous year. Not that I can figure out how or why; somehow it just is.

And I need that time. That alone time. Just a few hours. Just to be quiet. And sit. Maybe read. Maybe bake. Maybe do nothing.

But the thing is, I'm kind of never alone. Work is work. And when I get home, Hubby is here. Almost always. And, yes, I love him dearly. And, yes, I love spending time with him. Just not ALL the time.

And is it horrible of me to wish, sometimes, that I were alone? That I'd like to read without having to try to tune out the television, or without Hubby trying to talk to me even though he can totally see that I'm reading?

And isn't it ironic that the times that I need it the most are the times that it is just impossible to find?

Is it just me? Am I a totally selfish person? Am I missing something?

I hope not.

And I hope I figure something out.

Soon.

Is the glass half full? Or half empty? And how does that work after I refill it? Multiple times.

So, yeah. This bag was full at the start of my lunch hour today. And now it's not.

It turns out that it doesn't matter how small of a granola receptacle you bring, or how you skew the granola to soy milk ratio; it's kind of null and void if you keep refilling it.

It was reeeeeeeally good, though.

You Capture - Happiness

This is pure, simple happiness. Chai, poppy seed muffin, book.

Visit Beth's to experience more.

Going round in circles till she's very very dizzy

So, I think that if I continue to go to my job, my head might explode. Really. I think it might. But I can't think of anything else I could do that would pay me at least an equal amount of money. (I mean, I need a livable wage after all. And I'm pretty sure "bakery assistant" doesn't pay so well.)

And I had to (finally) make a decision about whether or not I'd be attending my sister-in-law's baby shower. I really like my S-I-L and am very happy for her and her baby having ways. But... Hubby is not on the best of terms with his family. And I'm pretty sure some of them think I'm Satan (or at least one of his minions). So this was not the easiest decision. Kind of a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" thing. But I'm going with damned if I don't. Seems like a much smaller chance for a scene to be caused. It still kind of gives me a headache and stomach ache to think about it, though.

And I am so tired it's not even funny. (Although I'm not sure being tired is ever funny, but still.) I just want to crawl into bed and not get out again. And I'm actually trying to go there now, but I have to drink this dandelion tea first. (Yes, as in dandelions. That's even what the picture on the box is. It's supposed to help purge toxins from the body. And apparently I've got lots right now since at acupuncture yesterday they did some cupping, sliding cups actually, and now my back looks like someone beat me within an inch of my life. And it only does that if you've got toxins built up. So I'm trying the dandelion tea. And it tastes pretty much how you'd expect dandelion tea to taste.)

And I read the zen story yesterday about the two monks, one of whom carried an uppity woman over a puddle and she didn't even say thank you, and the other one stewed about it all day, then when he brought it up to the monk who'd carried the woman he was told "I put her down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?" But I'm not very good at putting anything down. Ever. I'm not nearly as zen as I want to be.

Some weeks are like this, I guess.

So, I'll go to bed now. And I'll get up and try again tomorrow.

What if your whole world changed?

That was the question that started the week at work. It was meant to be a discussion starter; a way to introduce a story (a dumb story about a girl on Venus who get locked in a closet for the one hour of sunshine that comes along every seven years). The question became too real last night when the phone rang. One of those late night rings that are never ever good.

A friend's wife died. Completely unexpectedly. A friend who is my age. Who's wife was younger. And had given birth to their first child three months ago.

They're not close friends. I don't know him well. I barely knew her at all. But somehow this has rattled me deep down inside. I can't quite wrap my brain around it. Because they're my age? Because there is a little baby who will never know her mother? Because it was so unexpected? Or just because?

And I keep thinking about all of the things that don't really matter. The speed, or lack thereof, of my digestive system. The size of my thighs. How fast I may or may not run. Whether or not I'll be a mom. How overworked I feel. When I'll get the house cleaned. What I'll make for dinner. The list goes on.

But today, I get to take my tired self home and find something in the refrigerator that will pass for dinner. And I get to cook it and set it on the table. And I get to sit next to my husband and eat it. And even if we're too tired from a day filled with unimportance to talk, at least he's right there next to me.

And next to that, nothing else is really that important at all.

You Capture - Up Close

Did you seriously think I wasn't going 360 on this one? Close up on Bono singing Ultraviolet and some pre-encore lighting effects. (Okay, so it's really a close up on the great big screens because they won't let me get close to any member of U2 or the U2 organization because of the restraining orders and all. But still...)

See what everyone else got up close and personal with over at Beth's.

Madam, I'm Adam

Okay, so I took this one that's very blue (which I LOVE, by the way), but the rest of this sampling was taken by Hubby. And it's just a small sampling of the Adam Clayton Love Fest of Photos that was taken this past weekend. Who's husband makes it a point to take as many photos as possible of the man for whom their wife would leave them? That means he's either very secure or very stupid. Either way, he gets bonus Hubby points. And the eternal 15 year old in me has totally awesome photos to hang in her locker. (After I finish writing "Mrs. Adam Clayton" all over my Trapper Keeper. Which is lavender. With horses on it.)





(Uh-huh, this shadowy one totally makes me all giggly and tingle inside. And I'm so not ashamed to admit it. Because I think I'm still 15 years old.)



(Don't worry. I still have more to share another day.)

360 - A Photo Essay

(Don't worry. I have more. But they're for later.)

"Only Love Can Leave Such a Mark"

So, it's here. U2 weekend. Hubby and I are off to see the opening shows of the North American leg of the 360 Tour. I. Can. Not. Wait.

I've been trying to figure out how to write a post about U2 and what they mean to me. But I just can't do it. I don't know how to explain it. There might not be a way. It's just that I love them. They occupy a portion of my heart. They are like family. It is as simple as that.

That may sound incredibly stupid, or lame, or sad, or stalker-esque. But it is what it is.

I could try and explain the origins of my love. ( I do know where and why it began.) I could try and explain all of the ways that U2 have shaped the adult I became. I could try and explain all of the ways they have been a "soft place" or a "shoulder." I could try and explain how most of the key points in my life have at least one U2 song attached to them. I could try and explain lots of things.

But why?

It's about the music. It's about the words. It's about the grace, goodness, and humor of the four men who write it. It's about how it's helped and healed and humored me.

It's enough to say that U2 has been one of the most important gifts, presences, blessings in my life for many years. I don't see that changing any time soon.

And if Adam Clayton comes knocking on the door, Hubby should be afraid. Very afraid.

(Photo taken by Hubby during the Vertigo Tour. We used it for our wedding program. It might be my favorite picture ever.)

You Capture - Something New

I have to say, I would have loved this week's challenge. If I'd had some time to really work with it. But all I've got is this guy.

As I was loading bags into my vehicle on Saturday, this Praying Mantis landed on my door frame. And would not move. For five minutes. Just sat and posed for picture after picture. Not very artistic shots, but what are you going to do when a Praying Mantis lands on your door frame in the noon day sun? At least I can honestly say I've never photographed a Praying Mantis before.

I named him Zorak.

So, that's it for me. Go see what everyone else did over at Beth's.

Post-Race Indulgence

So, it was a nice morning. The rain held off. I stuck to my whole negative splits race plan. Rocked the U2/REM playlist. It was good. I haven't seen any official results yet, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't too far off of what I did last year. So that's fine for me.

And since the race is held in conjunction with this whole goofy festival thing, the wonderman U.B. and I always take a little spin through the festivities. He gets his once-a-year elephant ear. (I would kill for an elephant ear, but I think I'd be paying for it until next Labor Day.) I got what you see above. Real, honest to goodness, German roasted almonds. Coated in cinnamon and sugar. They were still warm when I got them.

They are like crack. Really good crack.

And they disappear fast. Really fast.

I guess it's good they're a rarity, huh?

Strike that. No. They should actually be far more readily available.

(And people wonder why I run. Chocolate peanut butter shakes and cinnamon/sugar roasted almonds. That's why.)

Pre-Race Carbo Loading

So, tomorrow is my "big" goal race for the fall. The goal being just to get through it. It's slightly long and very hilly. I'm pretty nervous about it. And this is how I've fueled up tonight. Yeah, I had some whole grain pasta with tomato sauce and a little salad, too. But really, it was just to get to the vegan chocolate peanut butter shakes. They were gooooooood. (And yes, it is tradition to have ice cream the night before a race.) (At least, it's my tradition.)

PS - Um, Notre Dame football team? Please continue to do what you did yesterday for the rest of the season. That was really awesome. Okay? Thank you.

You Capture - Old Signs

Okay, so "old" and "time" are both relative terms. And this week, I did not have time to go out searching for pictures. And, right in my home is a sign that is old to me.

This is a sign I procured off of the venue wall the last time I saw U2 live (It now resides in my linen closet.). The last time I saw U2 live, I was not yet married. I was in a different age bracket when filling out race applications. I had no nieces. I had only one brother-in-law. I had only one goddaughter.

And now I'm getting ready to go see them again. (smile)

Check out what everyone else came up with at Beth's.

God Walks Out of a Bar...

So, God spoke to me tonight. And He looked like a guy walking out of a bar lighting a cigarette. Seriously.

See, I've been having a bad week. Like, a bad week. And I was taking my nightly post-dinner walk around the neighborhood. Without my ipod (Don't ask. Or, at least, ask Hubby.). Which wasn't helping the bad week get any better. And as I was walking by the local bar, this random guy was walking out. And he looked at me and said "It will get better." That's all. And he kept walking, got on his Harley, and drove away.

At first I thought "What does he know?" But then I thought, "Maybe he does know." And that made me feel just a little bit better. The Lord works in mysterious ways, right?

I don't really buy into organized religion. I don't think faith is something you do for an hour on Sunday morning. I know too many people who spend that hour "talking the talk" on Sunday, but then forget to "walk the walk" the other 6 days and 23 hours of the week.

And I know lots of people who don't spend any time in a church building. But they do the things that truly count every day.

Like that guy. He could have totally ignored me; just let me wander on in my gloom. But he didn't.

So thank you, Guy Walking Out of the Bar Lighting a Cigarette. You did God's work today.