So. I had a plan. A good plan. Maybe even a great plan.
Run a marathon.
No, wait. It gets better.
Run a marathon on October 10, 2010. 10-10-10.
There's more.
Run a trail marathon in a national park on 10-10-10.
And I know I've only been running three days a week, but...
Three days a week got me ready for 13.1 miles this past May. Thirteen point one miles, after I was told my medical professionals that I wouldn't be running that far anymore. And it was good! It was fine! I ran. I remained fully mobile. Nothing swelled to the size of a watermellon. I proved those medical people wrong. Totally.
With that success behind me, I figured that three days a week would do just fine to get me ready for 26.2 miles, too. So I made a plan. A training plan. A secret plan. It involved extra hiking, extra biking, and three runs a week - the trail run, the medium-ish distance run, and the all-important long run. I thought I'd start at 10 miles, then add one mile each week, completing just one 20 mile run during training.
This was a good plan. It wouldn't help me break any land speed records, but it would get me to the finish line. And that was the goal.
June was great. I was running good, running strong. There were some days in there that felt almost like "the old days."
Then came July.
July was hard. July involved pain and limping and being told on multiple occasions by multiple people that they saw me running and "it didn't look good."
July made me cry.
Last week, I got back from the medium-ish distance run thinking something was a bit off. The next day, I got half mile into what was supposed to be a 15 mile run and stopped. Because my knee hurt. Not the left knee, not the one with the history of "issues." It was the right knee. The "good" knee. It hurt bad enough to make me stop. It hurt bad enough to make me turn around and walk back home, just a little bit teary (but refusing to cry).
Appoinments were already made with the New Chiropractor, and holy cow, did he put me through some paces. In a good way. For four days in a row. And I told him I had a 10k trail race planned for the weekend. I was all registered and everything. And he said I should be fine if I took it easy and got my knee on ice immediately afterward.
So I went. And I ran. Kind of.
I ran the longest 10k in the history of me. I had to walk a few times. Because it hurt.
And afterward, I got a talking to from UB (who takes me to all my races and supports me every step of the way) about making some changes. Like not running. He suspected that soon things besides my knees would start giving me trouble, if they weren't already. (They are.) He suggested bicycle racing. (Ohmygosh I don't like riding the bike.) He said a lot. And it was all true. And it was so much (too much) to think about. And I wanted to cry. But I didn't.
So I think my marathon plan is in ruins. And I feel more than a little lost about what to do now. And I'm standing at the drawing board, but it's just a big empty space.
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10 comments:
I'm so so sorry that your plans are scrapped. I can only imagine how hard it must be. But I'm glad that you have support to help you through this. ((hugs))
Oh hon, I'm so sorry your plan didn't work out. That must be so incredibly disappointing. Like Kirsten said, it's really great that you do have some support - and someone to look out for you too. Maybe there's something for you that's a bit easier on the joints? Like swimming? Or yoga? Maybe it won't quite take the place of running, but could bring you to a challenging, yet peaceful place all the same? Sending warm thoughts your way...
I'm so sorry :( I wish I had some words of comfort, but just know that you're doing what's best for your body. I hope?
Thinking of you...
You may not believe this, but I really am sorry your plan isn't going to work. Your body is trying to tell you something very important that you have to listen to. It can only take so much punishment before it it going to rebel in a very forceful way. I don't think you want to see that come. You have accomplished some wonderful things in your running. I don't think you see it the way other people do. You have always been too hard on yourself and not taken the time to really look at and appreciate what you have accomplished. Now might be the time to do that. Look at all the old pictures and results and see what you have done. I think you might be amazed if you focus on the positives. You are an amazing, wonderful, talented woman who has accomplished so many things in her life. Not just in running either. There is no shame in moving on to a new form of competition. You told me the other day that you now walk faster than you can run. You could smoke a walk. You could probably out bike most people. There is no shame in that. Change is good. It keeps us fresh and thinking. I'm here with all my love and support. Listen to what your body is trying to tell you. I love you!
p.s. My word verification is befull (be full)
You can be, you know.
I'm sorry. I know (I know!) how much is sucks. My treadmill sits in my house daunting me (note to self - sell the treadmill).
Move here. We'll ride our bikes together. We can get big baskets and bells and be the crazy ladies who ride bikes. I'll even buy you some streamers for your handlebars.
But really - I am sorry. And I know what it's like to want to push yourself and prove them wrong... but sometimes they're right. And sometimes it's not worth it.
((hugs))
so many typos....
I know how much IT sucks....
my treadmill TAUNTS me...
I am so very, very sorry about your pains and injuries and secret tears and that big empty space. I am your Mom's friend... I love your Mom... and I read her comments. She loves you so much and she is able to clearly see your incredible running accomplishments and your love of the sport. I wish as you gaze into that big empty space that there was a mirror out there... so you could see and feel the gifts of the past and the joy of competition and know that another sport may bring the same joy and competition and gifts that your running has brought to you. I am way older than you and I just began to run 2 years ago... but I think I know how you feel about it... the love of it. I didn't want to mess up these old knees and hips too much so I tried a sprint triathlon last summer... in Falmouth on Cape Cod. My daughter, son and son-in-law have done tris and I thought the biking and swimming might take some stress off the run. Well, I didn't start out loving cycling or swimming... but I love them both now. Cycling feels so free to me. I find great new routes and have discovered things about my town and neighboring towns and my state (Rhode Island) that I have probably driven by a zillion times. Most recently I discovered a lily pond with the most beautiful lilies... I had to go back to it to take photos! The swimming has been challenging, but I accepted it as a challenge. I could swim one lap when I began at my local YMCA. Well, 3 weeks ago I COMPLETED a Half Ironman. It took me 8 hours and 2 seconds. I swam an open water 1.2 miles, cycled 56 miles and run/walked 13.1 miles. I think everybody on that course that day, except for the elites, WALKED a great deal of that course. I have seen people at sprint tris walk the run. It's the excitement of the race, the challenge, the camaraderie and finishing. My daughter is also a runner... she qualified for and did Boston '10... but she also began having knee problems and my son talked her into triathlons. She's done 3 Half and just registered for Lake Placed Ironman '11. She LOVES the swim and the bike. I love the swim and the bike. The run/walk has become something to finish off a tri...
I am sorry to have rambled here... I'm just so sad for your sadness. I want you to know that HOPE is out there. You are an athlete. You have the heart and soul and passion of an athlete. If it is not possible to overcome your injuries... maybe it IS possible to defy them by switching to another competition. Maybe?
Thinking of you...
I am so very, very sorry about your pains and injuries and secret tears and that big empty space. I am your Mom's friend... I love your Mom... and I read her comments. She loves you so much and she is able to clearly see your incredible running accomplishments and your love of the sport. I wish as you gaze into that big empty space that there was a mirror out there... so you could see and feel the gifts of the past and the joy of competition and know that another sport may bring the same joy and competition and gifts that your running has brought to you. I am way older than you and I just began to run 2 years ago... but I think I know how you feel about it... the love of it. I didn't want to mess up these old knees and hips too much so I tried a sprint triathlon last summer... in Falmouth on Cape Cod. My daughter, son and son-in-law have done tris and I thought the biking and swimming might take some stress off the run. Well, I didn't start out loving cycling or swimming... but I love them both now. Cycling feels so free to me. I find great new routes and have discovered things about my town and neighboring towns and my state (Rhode Island) that I have probably driven by a zillion times. Most recently I discovered a lily pond with the most beautiful lilies... I had to go back to it to take photos! The swimming has been challenging, but I accepted it as a challenge. I could swim one lap when I began at my local YMCA. Well, 3 weeks ago I COMPLETED a Half Ironman. It took me 8 hours and 2 seconds. I swam an open water 1.2 miles, cycled 56 miles and run/walked 13.1 miles. I think everybody on that course that day, except for the elites, WALKED a great deal of that course. I have seen people at sprint tris walk the run. It's the excitement of the race, the challenge, the camaraderie and finishing. My daughter is also a runner... she qualified for and did Boston '10... but she also began having knee problems and my son talked her into triathlons. She's done 3 Half and just registered for Lake Placed Ironman '11. She LOVES the swim and the bike. I love the swim and the bike. The run/walk has become something to finish off a tri...
I am sorry to have rambled here... I'm just so sad for your sadness. I want you to know that HOPE is out there. You are an athlete. You have the heart and soul and passion of an athlete. If it is not possible to overcome your injuries... maybe it IS possible to defy them by switching to another competition. Maybe?
Thinking of you...
I have seen and supported you race for almost my entire life. You have so many accomplishments in your running that I couldn't even imagine doing!! I am so proud of you for all this. Don't get down about your predicament (sorry if that's spelled wrong)! There's so much more you can try now that you didn't before. For example, it's almost football season and you can start the art of beer drinking and football watching with us on the weekends!! =)It's not quite the same I know, but it's something new!! Or you can bike or walk, whichever suits you better. I love you and keep your chin up!! ~Katie~
:( I really really understand this. And it hurts.
Whatever you decide, remember that running has given you so many good things. And maybe it can continue, but maybe in smaller amounts. But, understand how that leaves you feeling empty.
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