pack it in and let it go

I am falling apart at the seams. (Really.)

I am one giant, twisted, painful knot from the nape of my neck all the way down to the lowest point of my back. It is bruised and raw from where the acupuncturist tried some slide cupping this week to loosen things up. (It didn't really work.)

I've had a headache, the same one I think, since Monday morning. (It might be longer than that, I'm not sure.)

My digestive system? I think it's on strike. (It's getting me back for the massive amounts of sugar I've consumed in the past two weeks. Okay, three weeks. Whatever.)

I know there is a thing called "sleep" but I'm not quite sure what it is.

I feel like I'm on a treadmill, and it keeps spinning faster and faster, but I'm just not getting anywhere.

My boss saw the cupping bruises on my neck, peeking out of my shirt. He asked what it was. I told him it was what work is doing to me. He asked if there was anything I could do about that. I said "Quit?"

(That's really not an option.)

So instead, I'm packing up and getting out. For awhile, at least.

Fall break is here, and Hubby and I are finally taking our aborted hiking trip (the one we were supposed to take this summer before the Jeep bled to within an inch of her life).

I am going to try (so so hard) to relax. Is it funny that relaxing will require effort? But it will. Because I haven't been able to relax in months and months. I will work to get my brain to shut down - to not think about the things at work or home left undone, the things waiting for me to return. I'm going to do my best to be in. the. moment. The current one.

I'm hoping that four days in the woods helps me feel better. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

I think I need "the tonic of wilderness."

So I'm going.