Running is hard.
For the first time ever, I'm doubting if it's worth it. Doubting if it's worth jumping though all the hoops I jump though to run.
And that is a scary feeling for me.
For awhile, things were going so well. I was feeling good, starting to gain back some form, some "speed."
And then January hit. And like so much else, everything in my running world has just unraveled.
The best I can manage is a slow shuffle. If you can even call it that.
And it hurts. Far more than it should.
And I have to stop, sometimes, and walk. Because the running is just too hard.
And some of that pesky swelling I thought I had gotten rid of is back again.
So.
The big spring race is three months away.
I want to be there.
I guess I'm going back to the drawing board. Again.
(February will be better.)
(Right?)
Stride on.
4 comments:
I wish I knew what to tell you, but I know I would have quit long ago. You are so strong for pushing through. But in case you're looking for inspiration, I'll share what helps me when things get difficult: the knowledge that often it is the things that are the hardest to do that are the most worth doing.
I really and truly feel your pain. And even though I am feeling the pain, I am hopeful for better - even if it takes a few months. There will be no spring race for me. I hope you have better days ahead too. Maybe this blizzard is a good time for some rest?
I'm sorry it's hard. I know what it's like to not be able to do the things that make you YOU, but please take care of yourself too.
((hugs)) I'm sorta there too. Although I haven't signed up for my spring race, nor do I have the problems you have.
Back to the drawing board and remember to respect your body. Take it slower than you want to, especially if you want to run again. You may have to give up the longer races and stick to shorter races.
I hope that you can find peace with whatever you choose.
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