sometimes so much happens in such a short space of time.
in the past few weeks i've forgotten how to breathe a few times. i've stood completely still, unable to move because i didn't remember how to do that either. my mind has gone completely blank, and i have been unable to respond to what was said or done. i've stayed in the house chopping vegetables, because if i walked out the door, words would come out of my mouth that could never be unsaid (and even though they needed to be said, it was much better that they were not said). i've marveled at the cold, unfeeling, uncaring nature of some, and the complete selflessness, strength, and compassion of others.
these have been weeks of extremes. weeks of tension. weeks of shock. weeks of fear. weeks of numbness. weeks sprinkled with love and support and concern and hope.
i still haven't cried. but i think, at some point, i will have to. just to get it all out.
summer has gotten off to quite a start.
but it will get better from here. for everyone.
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6 comments:
I hope everything is okay... The world stings... Chopping vegetables can solve almost everything! Xoxo
Worried about you....Seriously, if you need anything, or just more vegitables, I'm only an email and a short drive away.
I'm not sure I've ever commented before, but I've been following along for some time. I've been through my own trials of sudden shifts, where I went through a lot of what you described. If you'd like to hear my story I will gladly share it with you (privately- wildbluewonders(at)gmail(dot)com), even if you'd rather not share yours. Hope things get better.
Your past few weeks, in a lot of ways, sound a lot like my past few weeks. Especially this part: "words would come out of my mouth that could never be unsaid (and even though they needed to be said, it was much better that they were not said). i've marveled at the cold, unfeeling, uncaring nature of some, and the complete selflessness, strength, and compassion of others.
these have been weeks of extremes. weeks of tension. weeks of shock. weeks of fear. weeks of numbness. weeks sprinkled with love and support and concern and hope." It could have been written by me, except it was said much better by you.
I hope things stabilize to a more even keel for you soon, and that it's on the happier, more inspired side than not.
Breathe.
This too shall pass.
In the meantime I'm here if there's anything I can do to ease your days.
xo
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