Back to reality

I set the alarm today. For 5:30. Tomorrow it will be 3:30.

Back to work.

Back to reality.

And today, reality is making me sad.

There is no more sparkling tree in my living room. No more jolly Santa faces. No more Josh Groban singing about angels and midnights clear. Although the snowmen will stay around until the end of February, it's not quite the same.

The fudge and cookies that tasted soooooo gooooood just a week ago don't even sound good anymore. Sugar overload has set in. (Although somehow, I'm still eating it.)

I've spent today trying to beat the clock. To get everything done around the house as fast as possible. To get the errands run as fast as possible. To run as fast as possible (ha ha in this weather). All in hopes that I can get dinner together as early as possible so I can get it cleaned up as fast as possible so I can get in bed as early as possible so I can get up for work tomorrow as early as possible.

It's been a work-week Sunday.

I'm already mourning the relaxed pace of the past two weeks. I haven't missed the alarm clock. I haven't missed working. I've relished the reading and the lounging; the running outside in the snow at whatever time I got around to it, covering the miles in however long it took me to do it.

Usually by now, I'm ready to go back to work. This year, I'm not so sure. It's probably a huge mix of factors. But I'm not ready to go back.

I think I just don't want to return to that rush.

I think I need to make a concentrated effort to reduce (or just plain stop) that rush.

I need to make every effort to stay home once I get home from work; to not have to (or choose to) leave the house again in the evening. I'd really rather put my efforts toward having time to unwind, relax, meditate (because I miss it so much), and not rushrushrushrush my way toward bed (then wonder why I don't feel rested in the morning).

I need to make every effort to strip down my food choices to the basics for awhile, and try to rid my system of the months worth of crap that currently bog it down.

I need to remember that my home is the same home that had the pretty tree. But now it's illuminated by brilliant white snow. Or equally brilliant sunshine.

I need to remember that I can, if I try, keep some of that Christmas break calm with me. It might be hard.

It will be hard.

But I think that now I'd rather work at calm. calm. calm. calm. than rushrushrushrush.

We shall see how it all goes.....