For Lent I gave up chocolate. I know. I do it every year. (It's the one Catholic thing I still do - give up something for Lent.) But I've been feeling so unbelievably horrible for the past few months, I felt like maybe I needed to take it one step further this year.
So....
On Ash Wednesday I gave up chocolate, severely limited my sugar intake to almost nothing, made the move from vegetarian to vegan, and went through a strip-it-down-to-basics three day detox. (Which coincided with the first day of my period. Excellent timing, no?)
Oh. My. Gosh.
Headaches. Jitters. Hungry. Shakiness. Itchiness. (Seriously. I've been itchy. All over. Or maybe the word is prickly. Or itchyprickly. I guess I'm only assuming it's a reaction to the lack of sugar or other random crap being put into my body. Or my body trying to filter all the built up crap out. In this book - which may or may not be written by a crazy person - it mentions itching as a possible side effect that could happen as you change your eating habit and eliminate things that aren't so good for you. But it could be something really awful that I am choosing to ignore. But I digress.) Not to mention flat out grouchy because I'M NOT EATING ANY SUGAR. It's fun. Really fun. But it will get better, right? (Please say yes.)
And did I mention that I registered for The Big Race? As in the same Big Race in which my participation last year was questionable up till the last minute because of the whole knee thing, but then I ran it anyway and my knee totally imploded after that and has never been the same again, causing me to become a person who runs slowly and usually in some degree of pain. That Big Race. I'm doing it this year. Official training starts in a week. We'll see how that goes, huh?
So, yeah. I've got itchy+cranky+knee pain+no sugar. What does that equal? One great big ball of fun.
That's me.
(PS - I'm thinking maybe I need to eat some sugar, still. Not a lot. Maybe some toast with jam. Or a granola bar. Or six. And, I'm totally aware that I won't run Big Race anywhere near where I used to. And I'm okay with that. No. Actually, I'm not. But at least I'm aware of it. I'll figure out how to deal with it later. Whatever. I need to find something to eat. That has some trace amount of sugar in it.)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
You Capture - Shapes
These shapes are comforting to me. I feel comfortable here. Kind of love it here. Okay, I really love it here. And there's good food that I don't have to cook or clean up. And cookies. Goooood cookies. Hubby and I celebrate here; we celebrate things like "it's Saturday" or "I'd like to eat a really good cookie" or "I cleaned the bathroom this morning." This is a good place. These are good shapes. These shapes make me smile. I actually feel happier just looking at the pictures. And happier is good, I think.
See more shapes at Beth's.
See more shapes at Beth's.
Oh. my. gosh. I love these things...
I saw this on Lyndsay's blog (although she saw it somewhere else), and since I absolutely LOVE things like this (you know, lists, surveys, questionnaires, and the like) I kind of HAD to do it. The rule was to put in bold face the things you have done, so...
1. Started your own blog - I think that's kind of obvious, though, isn't it?
2. Slept under the stars - in high school, at cross country camp. Which was outpost camping. We also bathed in the lake and peed in a hole. Good times. Good times.
3. Played in a band - because I assume the fact that I sound JUST LIKE CHER in my car counts as playing in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii (Where's The Brady Bunch when you need them? Their trip rocked!)
5. Watched a meteor shower - although I don't know that I ever actually saw a meteor, but we went to the beach on the night that the news people said there would be a meteor shower, and waited a looooong time.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - if people gave what they could afford to charity, charity would never get much at all, I think.
7. Been to Disneyland - Okay, I've been to Disney World. Does that count? I'm going to say yes.
8. Climbed a mountain - not like, Annapurna or anything like that, but enough to count, I think.
9. Held a praying mantis - I try to not hold bugs. But I did photograph one on my car this past fall.
10. Sang a solo - Of course, since I sound just like Cher in my car!
11. Bungee jumped - Okay, I'm not crazy.
12. Visited Paris - I[m going to count this, even though I never left the airport. The airport where I got yelled at by the French airport worker because they take a loooong time to shuttle you from your plane to the next terminal and I almost missed my flight. I can not see how that was my fault.
13. Watched a lightening storm - whilst cowering behind someone else because I am terrified of weather.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - this, again, might be pushing the boundaries, but...
15. Adopted a child - I had four Cabbage Patch Kids.
16. Had food poisoning - why would I eat poisoned food?
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - I jumped over instead.
18. Grown your own vegetables - I had the Cabbage Patch Kids indoor garden when I was little. (I really liked Cabbage Patch Kids)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - Not enough time between the arrival of one plane and the take-off of the other.
20. Slept on an overnight train - I've slept on a non-overnight train. I tend to get sleepy in things like trains or cars.
21. Had a pillow fight - I'm a girl. Isn't that in the rule book somewhere?
22. Hitch hiked - Yeah, that just never seemed like a good idea to me.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - Who would EVER do such a thing?
24. Built a snow fort - Ohmygosh! We used to build the coolest snow forts ever on the playground in elementary school!
25. Held a lamb - It was made of butter. And the other one was a stuffed animal.
26. Gone skinny dipping - oh, no one wants to see me do that.
27. Run a Marathon - Big fat happy YES!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - But I looked at a gondola in Indianapolis.
29. Seen a total eclipse - of both the moon and the sun. But not at the same time.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset - again, not at the same time.
31. Hit a home run - In gym in college (because I had to take gym in college) the gym teacher refused to let me leave home plate until I hit the ball. I still bear the scars of embarrassment from that dark day.
32. Been on a cruise - two things I don't like: big boats and water.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person - But I read the book Yours Till Niagara Falls, Abby in the third grade. I really liked that book, too.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - I was once in the country in which some of my ancestors were born. But not the actual birthplace. That I know of. Because that would be a little freaky if they had been born in my friend's parent's house.
35. Seen an Amish community - Oh, I've been on field trips to Amish communities!
36. Taught yourself a new language - Technically I taught myself. With A LOT of help from Frau.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - I'll let you know when this happens. But maybe don't hold your breath, okay?
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - But I saw the pictures my aunt took when she was there. And it was just like being there myself.
39. Gone rock climbing - Hubby really wants to go rock climbing some time.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David - In all of the books about Michelangelo in my school's library, the librarian made the art teacher draw pants on David with a sharpie. Seriously.
41. Sung karaoke - In my car. Sound like Cher.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - you know, I bet that's one of those things that might not be as impressive as you think it will be. Or I'm just jealous since I've never seen it myself and I'm just telling myself that to make me feel better.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - I'm not sure I'd accept a meal from a stranger in a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa - But I'd reeeeeally like to.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight - That whole not-sure-I-saw-a-meteor-shower thing. Other times, too....
46. Been transported in an ambulance - I'm pretty happy about that.
47. Had your portrait painted - Does it count if it was in a high school art class?
48. Gone deep sea fishing - still don't like water. And I'm a vegetarian.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - But I've taught about the Sistine Chapel numerous times. And made kids tape paper to the bottom of their desk, lay down on the floor, and draw a picture to get an idea of what that must have been like.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - Just that airport.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - Still don't like water.
52. Kissed in the rain - We were in the house at the time, though.
53. Played in the mud - best thing about running in the rain during cross country season in high school.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater - I LOVE the drive-in!
55. Been in a movie - Brother-in-Law makes movies, and Hubby was an extra in one of them.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - seen pictures, though.
57. Started a business - I had a lemonade stand as a child.
58. Taken a martial arts class - I try not to yell that much. Or break concrete with my fist.
59. Visited Russia - I bet that would be neat-o.
60. Served at a soup kitchen - I feel guilty saying no to this one.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - and ate a bunch, too.
62. Gone whale watching - I would really like to go whale watching. But I'd need to do that on land, okay.
63. Got flowers for no reason - Hubby is kinda nice like that...
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - they won't take it. Which is fine since I am terrified of needles.
65. Gone sky diving - still not crazy
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - I wanted to, but my friends wouldn't take me. They had had to go on a field trip and it was so awful they refused to go back. I don't blame them.
67. Bounced a check - I admit it, okay?!
68. Flown in a helicopter - I really think this would be a fun thing. But how does one do such a thing?
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - All the ones Sisters didn't ruin or Mom didn't get rid of.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - I suck and I've never been to Washington DC. I really want to go, though!
71. Eaten Caviar - still a vegetarian.
72. Pieced a quilt - I've looked at a quilt, piece by piece.
73. Stood in Times Square - I kind of don't really have any desire to do this.
74. Toured the Everglades - try not to go where there's water and alligators.
75. Been fired from a job - I'm really happy to say no.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - London is on my list of places to go, though.
77. Broken a bone - knock on wood.
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle - Dad had one when I was small. Mom let him drive me around the yard.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - yet another rockin' Brady Bunch vacation.
80. Published a book - that's Hubby's department. He's got four.
81. Visited the Vatican - looked at more of my aunt's pictures.
82. Bought a brand new car - only if by "new" you mean "used."
83. Walked in Jerusalem - but that is one of the settings in Hubby's first novel.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - and never in the arrest section, either!
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve - I try to not kiss strangers ever.
86. Visited the White House - I just said I've never been to DC. I'm working on it, okay!
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - Still a vegetarian.
88. Had chickenpox - in the 5th grade. And I have a pox scar on my thigh. Although I think it just blends in with the stretch marks now.
89. Saved someone’s life - well, that depends on how you look at it...
90. Sat on a jury - I got out of jury duty because I was starting my student teaching.
91. Met someone famous - Jackson Browne saved my life, remember?
92. Joined a book club - I just read the books without the formality of a club.
93. Got a tattoo - got four. I think Mom's still upset about it, too.
94. Had a baby - I've had a baby, like, in my house before. It wasn't my baby, though.
95. Seen the Alamo in person - when I go, I want to make sure to see the basement.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - again with the water?
97. Been involved in a law suit - only a fake one in government class.
98. Owned a cell phone - I even had a bag phone.
99. Been stung by a bee - I was actually stung while I was sleeping. Nice little wake-up, huh?
I so love these things.
1. Started your own blog - I think that's kind of obvious, though, isn't it?
2. Slept under the stars - in high school, at cross country camp. Which was outpost camping. We also bathed in the lake and peed in a hole. Good times. Good times.
3. Played in a band - because I assume the fact that I sound JUST LIKE CHER in my car counts as playing in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii (Where's The Brady Bunch when you need them? Their trip rocked!)
5. Watched a meteor shower - although I don't know that I ever actually saw a meteor, but we went to the beach on the night that the news people said there would be a meteor shower, and waited a looooong time.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - if people gave what they could afford to charity, charity would never get much at all, I think.
7. Been to Disneyland - Okay, I've been to Disney World. Does that count? I'm going to say yes.
8. Climbed a mountain - not like, Annapurna or anything like that, but enough to count, I think.
9. Held a praying mantis - I try to not hold bugs. But I did photograph one on my car this past fall.
10. Sang a solo - Of course, since I sound just like Cher in my car!
11. Bungee jumped - Okay, I'm not crazy.
12. Visited Paris - I[m going to count this, even though I never left the airport. The airport where I got yelled at by the French airport worker because they take a loooong time to shuttle you from your plane to the next terminal and I almost missed my flight. I can not see how that was my fault.
13. Watched a lightening storm - whilst cowering behind someone else because I am terrified of weather.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - this, again, might be pushing the boundaries, but...
15. Adopted a child - I had four Cabbage Patch Kids.
16. Had food poisoning - why would I eat poisoned food?
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - I jumped over instead.
18. Grown your own vegetables - I had the Cabbage Patch Kids indoor garden when I was little. (I really liked Cabbage Patch Kids)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - Not enough time between the arrival of one plane and the take-off of the other.
20. Slept on an overnight train - I've slept on a non-overnight train. I tend to get sleepy in things like trains or cars.
21. Had a pillow fight - I'm a girl. Isn't that in the rule book somewhere?
22. Hitch hiked - Yeah, that just never seemed like a good idea to me.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - Who would EVER do such a thing?
24. Built a snow fort - Ohmygosh! We used to build the coolest snow forts ever on the playground in elementary school!
25. Held a lamb - It was made of butter. And the other one was a stuffed animal.
26. Gone skinny dipping - oh, no one wants to see me do that.
27. Run a Marathon - Big fat happy YES!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - But I looked at a gondola in Indianapolis.
29. Seen a total eclipse - of both the moon and the sun. But not at the same time.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset - again, not at the same time.
31. Hit a home run - In gym in college (because I had to take gym in college) the gym teacher refused to let me leave home plate until I hit the ball. I still bear the scars of embarrassment from that dark day.
32. Been on a cruise - two things I don't like: big boats and water.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person - But I read the book Yours Till Niagara Falls, Abby in the third grade. I really liked that book, too.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - I was once in the country in which some of my ancestors were born. But not the actual birthplace. That I know of. Because that would be a little freaky if they had been born in my friend's parent's house.
35. Seen an Amish community - Oh, I've been on field trips to Amish communities!
36. Taught yourself a new language - Technically I taught myself. With A LOT of help from Frau.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - I'll let you know when this happens. But maybe don't hold your breath, okay?
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - But I saw the pictures my aunt took when she was there. And it was just like being there myself.
39. Gone rock climbing - Hubby really wants to go rock climbing some time.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David - In all of the books about Michelangelo in my school's library, the librarian made the art teacher draw pants on David with a sharpie. Seriously.
41. Sung karaoke - In my car. Sound like Cher.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - you know, I bet that's one of those things that might not be as impressive as you think it will be. Or I'm just jealous since I've never seen it myself and I'm just telling myself that to make me feel better.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - I'm not sure I'd accept a meal from a stranger in a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa - But I'd reeeeeally like to.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight - That whole not-sure-I-saw-a-meteor-shower thing. Other times, too....
46. Been transported in an ambulance - I'm pretty happy about that.
47. Had your portrait painted - Does it count if it was in a high school art class?
48. Gone deep sea fishing - still don't like water. And I'm a vegetarian.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - But I've taught about the Sistine Chapel numerous times. And made kids tape paper to the bottom of their desk, lay down on the floor, and draw a picture to get an idea of what that must have been like.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - Just that airport.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - Still don't like water.
52. Kissed in the rain - We were in the house at the time, though.
53. Played in the mud - best thing about running in the rain during cross country season in high school.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater - I LOVE the drive-in!
55. Been in a movie - Brother-in-Law makes movies, and Hubby was an extra in one of them.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - seen pictures, though.
57. Started a business - I had a lemonade stand as a child.
58. Taken a martial arts class - I try not to yell that much. Or break concrete with my fist.
59. Visited Russia - I bet that would be neat-o.
60. Served at a soup kitchen - I feel guilty saying no to this one.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - and ate a bunch, too.
62. Gone whale watching - I would really like to go whale watching. But I'd need to do that on land, okay.
63. Got flowers for no reason - Hubby is kinda nice like that...
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - they won't take it. Which is fine since I am terrified of needles.
65. Gone sky diving - still not crazy
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - I wanted to, but my friends wouldn't take me. They had had to go on a field trip and it was so awful they refused to go back. I don't blame them.
67. Bounced a check - I admit it, okay?!
68. Flown in a helicopter - I really think this would be a fun thing. But how does one do such a thing?
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - All the ones Sisters didn't ruin or Mom didn't get rid of.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - I suck and I've never been to Washington DC. I really want to go, though!
71. Eaten Caviar - still a vegetarian.
72. Pieced a quilt - I've looked at a quilt, piece by piece.
73. Stood in Times Square - I kind of don't really have any desire to do this.
74. Toured the Everglades - try not to go where there's water and alligators.
75. Been fired from a job - I'm really happy to say no.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - London is on my list of places to go, though.
77. Broken a bone - knock on wood.
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle - Dad had one when I was small. Mom let him drive me around the yard.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - yet another rockin' Brady Bunch vacation.
80. Published a book - that's Hubby's department. He's got four.
81. Visited the Vatican - looked at more of my aunt's pictures.
82. Bought a brand new car - only if by "new" you mean "used."
83. Walked in Jerusalem - but that is one of the settings in Hubby's first novel.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - and never in the arrest section, either!
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve - I try to not kiss strangers ever.
86. Visited the White House - I just said I've never been to DC. I'm working on it, okay!
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - Still a vegetarian.
88. Had chickenpox - in the 5th grade. And I have a pox scar on my thigh. Although I think it just blends in with the stretch marks now.
89. Saved someone’s life - well, that depends on how you look at it...
90. Sat on a jury - I got out of jury duty because I was starting my student teaching.
91. Met someone famous - Jackson Browne saved my life, remember?
92. Joined a book club - I just read the books without the formality of a club.
93. Got a tattoo - got four. I think Mom's still upset about it, too.
94. Had a baby - I've had a baby, like, in my house before. It wasn't my baby, though.
95. Seen the Alamo in person - when I go, I want to make sure to see the basement.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - again with the water?
97. Been involved in a law suit - only a fake one in government class.
98. Owned a cell phone - I even had a bag phone.
99. Been stung by a bee - I was actually stung while I was sleeping. Nice little wake-up, huh?
I so love these things.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Once more, with feeling
It was Molly who drew the line. I know this. Before I even open the tattered cover, I know this is the very first thing I will be told. And I know exactly where it will lead. And everything that will follow.
But I open the cover anyway, settle into my chair, and begin reading.
I've read Lois Lowry's A Summer to Die at least once a year since the fourth grade. Sometimes (usually) more. I blame Meg for this. Meg (Molly's younger sister), somehow, got me long before I was ever able to articulate "me" on my own. Long before I realized that I should articulate "me"on my own.
When I read "being both determined and unsure at the same time is what makes me the way I am, I think: hasty, impetuous, sometimes angry over nothing, often miserable about everything," and only three pages into the book, no less, I knew my fourth grade self had found a kindred soul in Meg Chalmers. The girl who felt most comfortable behind her camera's lens, who wanted the familiarity of home, who envied her older sister, who craved a tiny little space just for herself, who was unsure and strong all at the same time.
She does what needs to be done. She handles the situations she must. She learns to love who she is.
Maybe I wasn't exactly like her, but I could see glimpses of myself in her. I aspired to her.
Maybe I still do.
And when Will Banks calls her beautiful, I never fail to cry.
*******
tell it to me tuesdays
But I open the cover anyway, settle into my chair, and begin reading.
I've read Lois Lowry's A Summer to Die at least once a year since the fourth grade. Sometimes (usually) more. I blame Meg for this. Meg (Molly's younger sister), somehow, got me long before I was ever able to articulate "me" on my own. Long before I realized that I should articulate "me"on my own.
When I read "being both determined and unsure at the same time is what makes me the way I am, I think: hasty, impetuous, sometimes angry over nothing, often miserable about everything," and only three pages into the book, no less, I knew my fourth grade self had found a kindred soul in Meg Chalmers. The girl who felt most comfortable behind her camera's lens, who wanted the familiarity of home, who envied her older sister, who craved a tiny little space just for herself, who was unsure and strong all at the same time.
She does what needs to be done. She handles the situations she must. She learns to love who she is.
Maybe I wasn't exactly like her, but I could see glimpses of myself in her. I aspired to her.
Maybe I still do.
And when Will Banks calls her beautiful, I never fail to cry.
*******
tell it to me tuesdays
Friday, February 19, 2010
A Major Award!
Heidi at Flicker's Lair has bestowed upon me the Beautiful Blogger Award!
This boggles my mind a bit, because "beautiful" is not a word normally associated with me, but I am honored, nonetheless. Thank you, Heidi!
I would love to copy the image into this post, but my technological skills just aren't that sharp. So I'll just skip to the next part....
Seven Facts About Me:
1. I once had an email argument with Henry Rollins. I did not want to have an email argument with Henry Rollins. I love Henry Rollins. I'm not actually sure how it happened.... I had given a letter writing assignment to my students. Everyone was writing to someone "famous" and then would share anything they received in reply. I tend to do assignments with my students, so I wrote to Henry Rollins, because he seemed likely to reply. (Why I thought that, I don't know. I just did.) So I found an email address and sent a little note explaining that I was a teacher and the basics of the assignment, and asked if he would please send some sort of acknowledgment. Just something along the lines of "Hey kids, study hard and be good." He replied wanting more specifics of what I was asking for, I replied to that with more explanation, he still didn't understand... And, somehow, we wound up in an email argument. I used to have the whole thing saved on my work computer, but then I got a new work computer, and the whole thing was lost in the shuffle. That made me a little sad, because that's probably the only contact I'll ever have with Henry Rollins.
2. When my goddaughter was born, I bought her a onesie at an REM concert. She was born premature, so it took her awhile to fit into it. And when she finally did, her mom, Best Friend, brought her to see me at work, so she could show me how awesome she looked. I took pictures of her, dancing in her totally cool REM onesie. (It had a bunny on it!) And I sent those pictures to REM, relating the story of my goddaughter, her birth and what an amazing kid she was growing in to. And REM sent me a package in return with a new t-shirt for her and a letter saying that she rocks. Gotta love that Michael Stipe.
3. One of the coolest moments of my life was sitting on an airplane pointed toward Boston, with Best Friend on one side of me and Hubby on the other.
4. The first time I ever saw U2 in concert, I really thought it would be nice to meet the band after the show. So I decided, as my friends and I were walking out of the (outdoor) venue, that maybe I'd just try opening some doors and see what happened. My theory was that they couldn't actually kill me, so what was the worst that could happen? Turns out that the worst that could happen is that a big guy steps into your path and says "Where do you think you're going?" and you say "Could you tell me where the bathroom is?" and they escort you out the door.
5. In college I made a U2 fanzine (I'm a raging dork. Shut up.) and one of my covers was featured in the official U2 publication. (Okay, so maybe "featured" in the wrong word, but they showed the cover of my fanzine by the list of all the U2 fanzines you could order, from all over the world.)
6. I love toast with butter and jam.
7. At the age of 5, I knew every single word to Paradise By the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf and all of the choreography for Proud Mary by Tina Turner. (And I will rock those for you right now, if you'd like!)
And it is with love that I pass this award along to my (Bacardi) Mama.
This boggles my mind a bit, because "beautiful" is not a word normally associated with me, but I am honored, nonetheless. Thank you, Heidi!
I would love to copy the image into this post, but my technological skills just aren't that sharp. So I'll just skip to the next part....Seven Facts About Me:
1. I once had an email argument with Henry Rollins. I did not want to have an email argument with Henry Rollins. I love Henry Rollins. I'm not actually sure how it happened.... I had given a letter writing assignment to my students. Everyone was writing to someone "famous" and then would share anything they received in reply. I tend to do assignments with my students, so I wrote to Henry Rollins, because he seemed likely to reply. (Why I thought that, I don't know. I just did.) So I found an email address and sent a little note explaining that I was a teacher and the basics of the assignment, and asked if he would please send some sort of acknowledgment. Just something along the lines of "Hey kids, study hard and be good." He replied wanting more specifics of what I was asking for, I replied to that with more explanation, he still didn't understand... And, somehow, we wound up in an email argument. I used to have the whole thing saved on my work computer, but then I got a new work computer, and the whole thing was lost in the shuffle. That made me a little sad, because that's probably the only contact I'll ever have with Henry Rollins.
2. When my goddaughter was born, I bought her a onesie at an REM concert. She was born premature, so it took her awhile to fit into it. And when she finally did, her mom, Best Friend, brought her to see me at work, so she could show me how awesome she looked. I took pictures of her, dancing in her totally cool REM onesie. (It had a bunny on it!) And I sent those pictures to REM, relating the story of my goddaughter, her birth and what an amazing kid she was growing in to. And REM sent me a package in return with a new t-shirt for her and a letter saying that she rocks. Gotta love that Michael Stipe.
3. One of the coolest moments of my life was sitting on an airplane pointed toward Boston, with Best Friend on one side of me and Hubby on the other.
4. The first time I ever saw U2 in concert, I really thought it would be nice to meet the band after the show. So I decided, as my friends and I were walking out of the (outdoor) venue, that maybe I'd just try opening some doors and see what happened. My theory was that they couldn't actually kill me, so what was the worst that could happen? Turns out that the worst that could happen is that a big guy steps into your path and says "Where do you think you're going?" and you say "Could you tell me where the bathroom is?" and they escort you out the door.
5. In college I made a U2 fanzine (I'm a raging dork. Shut up.) and one of my covers was featured in the official U2 publication. (Okay, so maybe "featured" in the wrong word, but they showed the cover of my fanzine by the list of all the U2 fanzines you could order, from all over the world.)
6. I love toast with butter and jam.
7. At the age of 5, I knew every single word to Paradise By the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf and all of the choreography for Proud Mary by Tina Turner. (And I will rock those for you right now, if you'd like!)
And it is with love that I pass this award along to my (Bacardi) Mama.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I wish I could say....
I wish I could say just the exact right thing to make everything all better. To make things easier, happier, smoother. Not to get things back to the way they were, but actually make them better.
I wish I knew what to say to solve the problems. Really solve them, so that changes were made, instead of band-aids applied.
I wish I could say just exactly what I really and truly think, and what I really and truly mean. With no holds barred. But I know that wouldn't solve any problems at all.
So instead, I'll just keep my mouth shut.
*****
tell it to me tuesdays
I wish I knew what to say to solve the problems. Really solve them, so that changes were made, instead of band-aids applied.
I wish I could say just exactly what I really and truly think, and what I really and truly mean. With no holds barred. But I know that wouldn't solve any problems at all.
So instead, I'll just keep my mouth shut.
*****
tell it to me tuesdays
Monday, February 15, 2010
More to love
Apparently when you miss Valentine's Day at home, all sorts of pleasant surprises are in store when you're settling back in to home. Like flowers that Hubby picks up while grocery shopping.
Or Valentines hand-made by nieces and goddaughters. (Okay, so no one made the Jonas Brothers Valentine, but still. You're just jealous.)
Just adding to the love.
Love is good.
Or Valentines hand-made by nieces and goddaughters. (Okay, so no one made the Jonas Brothers Valentine, but still. You're just jealous.)
Just adding to the love.
Love is good.
Things to love
Hubby and I had to go out of town this weekend. Not a romantic getaway or anything like that. But there was still lots to love this Valentine weekend.
Hubby and I exchanged Valentines on Friday, since we weren't going to be home for the actual day. And, apparently, Hubby thought Valentine's was kind of like Christmas. Because I got this incredible new Vera bag. Oh. my. gosh. I heart it. (And, yes, I did feel a little lame when I gave him his chocolate peanut butter hearts and recycled clay coffee mug. But he seemed to like them, so I guess that's what counts. Or something. Right?)
I was further filled with love while watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Parade of Nations? Whales swimming across the floor? k.d. lang singing Hallelujah? Crazed punk rock pirate fiddle playing Irish step-dancing Canadians? YES! I am hooked from the get-go on these Olympics.
I have three versions of REM's Harborcoat on my ipod. When I was running on Saturday morning, they shuffled in back to back to back. Have I said it before? I heart you, Michael Stipe.
My favorite restaurant managed to prepare a near perfect meal for me on Saturday. If they had had vegetarian friendly soup, it would have been totally perfect. But, alas, it was not to be. But I'll that potato gorgonzolla salad and those freakishly fresh chocolate chunk cookies. No problem.
I finally remembered to check and see who's being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year, and I was oh so thrilled to see that gloriously, mercifully, beautifully, absolutely, finally The Stooges will be induced. Can I get an Amen? Because, seriously, how much more rock and roll can you get? If you take The Stooges out of the picture, a whole lot of other bands disappear, too. I have been waiting for this one. If you are unfamiliar, just go right now to your nearest record store and buy Raw Power. You need nothing else. The name says it all. The title track, Search and Destroy, and Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell. Top it all off with the incomparable Iggy Pop? Perfection.
And did I mention the reason for our trip out of town?
To meet Brother and Sister In Law's new twin boys.
Top that off with President's Day off of work (for which I heart Presidents Washington and Lincoln even more than before), and I am practically bursting with love.
Happy belated Valentine's.
Hubby and I exchanged Valentines on Friday, since we weren't going to be home for the actual day. And, apparently, Hubby thought Valentine's was kind of like Christmas. Because I got this incredible new Vera bag. Oh. my. gosh. I heart it. (And, yes, I did feel a little lame when I gave him his chocolate peanut butter hearts and recycled clay coffee mug. But he seemed to like them, so I guess that's what counts. Or something. Right?)
I was further filled with love while watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Parade of Nations? Whales swimming across the floor? k.d. lang singing Hallelujah? Crazed punk rock pirate fiddle playing Irish step-dancing Canadians? YES! I am hooked from the get-go on these Olympics.
I have three versions of REM's Harborcoat on my ipod. When I was running on Saturday morning, they shuffled in back to back to back. Have I said it before? I heart you, Michael Stipe.
My favorite restaurant managed to prepare a near perfect meal for me on Saturday. If they had had vegetarian friendly soup, it would have been totally perfect. But, alas, it was not to be. But I'll that potato gorgonzolla salad and those freakishly fresh chocolate chunk cookies. No problem.
I finally remembered to check and see who's being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year, and I was oh so thrilled to see that gloriously, mercifully, beautifully, absolutely, finally The Stooges will be induced. Can I get an Amen? Because, seriously, how much more rock and roll can you get? If you take The Stooges out of the picture, a whole lot of other bands disappear, too. I have been waiting for this one. If you are unfamiliar, just go right now to your nearest record store and buy Raw Power. You need nothing else. The name says it all. The title track, Search and Destroy, and Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell. Top it all off with the incomparable Iggy Pop? Perfection.
And did I mention the reason for our trip out of town?
To meet Brother and Sister In Law's new twin boys.
Top that off with President's Day off of work (for which I heart Presidents Washington and Lincoln even more than before), and I am practically bursting with love.
Happy belated Valentine's.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
You Capture - Work
So, me and work, we have a love/not so much love relationship. Put me in a room with 30 kids and tell me to teach them - I can do that (with joy). Other things outside that room? Not always so great. This year is hard. I guess that happens, though, huh? This is my work...
Get to work over at Beth's.
Get to work over at Beth's.
free time
I may be in the minority here (especially among those in the field of education), but I love snow days.
I know the conventional wisdom among grown-up type people is that "now we just have to make it up." Yeah, we do. But we'll make it up when it's not so dreary and cold and windy and miserable. We'll make it up on a day when leaving the house isn't a chore that takes a good 30 extra minutes of the morning in which to mentally and physically prepare for the actual leaving of the house (and that's after digging a path to and/or around your vehicle).
And in the mean time, you get this beautiful, unexpected gift - free time. Not free time, as in "I like to play Scrabble in my free time." But free. time. Time that was not originally meant to be yours, but that you may now do with whatever you'd like. That is a gift I cherish, and do not take lightly.
To date on this snow day I have: done yoga, run (on the elliptical), luxuriated in a hot shower, dressed in the most comfortable, warm fleece I could find, not fixed my hair, eaten some breakfast, sat on the sofa, and finished the book I was reading (Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert - an actual grown-up book, no less).
My next activity will be making tea and looking out the window while I drink that tea. Perhaps while pondering what book I'll start next.
At some point, I may actually venture out into the snow globe that is my town (I have, I will say, adored snow globes my whole life) and get some lunch for Hubby and me. Why? Why go out into the snow and cold and wind and the miserable when the local school system has decreed that it's probably not the best idea? Why endure the leaving-the-house-prep-time for some soup and sandwiches that I could just as easily make here in the comfort of my own home?
Because I have free time.
(and I say thank you for it)
I know the conventional wisdom among grown-up type people is that "now we just have to make it up." Yeah, we do. But we'll make it up when it's not so dreary and cold and windy and miserable. We'll make it up on a day when leaving the house isn't a chore that takes a good 30 extra minutes of the morning in which to mentally and physically prepare for the actual leaving of the house (and that's after digging a path to and/or around your vehicle).
And in the mean time, you get this beautiful, unexpected gift - free time. Not free time, as in "I like to play Scrabble in my free time." But free. time. Time that was not originally meant to be yours, but that you may now do with whatever you'd like. That is a gift I cherish, and do not take lightly.
To date on this snow day I have: done yoga, run (on the elliptical), luxuriated in a hot shower, dressed in the most comfortable, warm fleece I could find, not fixed my hair, eaten some breakfast, sat on the sofa, and finished the book I was reading (Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert - an actual grown-up book, no less).
My next activity will be making tea and looking out the window while I drink that tea. Perhaps while pondering what book I'll start next.
At some point, I may actually venture out into the snow globe that is my town (I have, I will say, adored snow globes my whole life) and get some lunch for Hubby and me. Why? Why go out into the snow and cold and wind and the miserable when the local school system has decreed that it's probably not the best idea? Why endure the leaving-the-house-prep-time for some soup and sandwiches that I could just as easily make here in the comfort of my own home?
Because I have free time.
(and I say thank you for it)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sometimes I....
Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I forget how to breathe. And I just stand there, gasping, trying desperately to remember how to get oxygen into my lungs. Hoping that it will just magically happen.
I can feel my heart start to race, but I can't make it slow down. I can feel the back of my neck begin to bead with perspiration, but I am powerless to make it stop.
Everything about me begins to tighten and constrict and I am afraid that I will be crushed from within.
Sometimes I just stop. I can't move. I can barely think. Except to hope that this passes as soon as possible.
And I can get on with my life again.
*****
tell it to me tuesdays
I can feel my heart start to race, but I can't make it slow down. I can feel the back of my neck begin to bead with perspiration, but I am powerless to make it stop.
Everything about me begins to tighten and constrict and I am afraid that I will be crushed from within.
Sometimes I just stop. I can't move. I can barely think. Except to hope that this passes as soon as possible.
And I can get on with my life again.
*****
tell it to me tuesdays
Saturday, February 6, 2010
List Time
1. For the past two days, I have run without any form of knee brace. That feels significant.
2. Once when I was running, I saw a man fall off of the roof of a house. It literally stopped me in my tracks. I wasn't quite sure what the protocol for this was, so I just called out "Are you okay?" And this man pops up out of the bushes, brushing himself off, and says "Yeah, I'm fine. I do it all the time."
What? You do it all the time? Why? Is it, like, recreational?
So I just said "Okay." And kept on running.
3. Best Friend and I are going out to lunch today. This sound like a minor kind of event. But it's actually more like a strategically planned tactical maneuver. I work something like 9-5 hours. She and her husband both work more non-traditional hours. And are raising two beautiful girls. So it's reeeeeally hard for us to coordinate our watches for some quality best friend time. And we've learned the hard way that we should not try to get a sitter for her girls if we would like to lunch. So it's now about picking a day and hoping her husband gets home early enough for us to go. This is our third attempt since December. A tish maddening, but, we gotta do what we gotta do. I'm glad we do it.
4. Yesterday Hubby, who works from home, was gone all day doing work (meaning corporate suck up) type things. So the house was empty. So I stayed home from work. All. by. my. self.
5. Today when I was running, I saw a condom in the middle of the seventeen degree, snow covered road. I did not investigate to see if it was used or not (because ewww!), but all I could think was "that had to have been cold."
6. Six months from today, I'll be seeing U2 live. I'm just saying. I'll be wearing tank top for that. I cannot imagine being warm enough to wear a tank top.
7. I have been having this passionate love affair with dates. As in the dried fruit kind of date. Ohmygosh. I seriously think I have a problem. Once I start, I can't stop. They're sticky and sweet and chewy and yummy. I suppose that's better than having a love affair with, say, heroin. Or triple chocolate mousse pie. But still.
8. I started running with a friend from work once a week. I enjoy it much more than I could have imagined. I haven't run with other humans (aside from races) since high school. I think it's good for me, on many levels.
9. I run a lot, but I have had the same pair of cold weather running pants for about 14 years. They are from K-mart. They were too big when I got them. I have to pull them up like Urkel for them to even think about not falling down. They have been falling apart for about 13 years. But somehow, I can't bring myself to spend lots of money on a real pair of cold weather running pants. Hubby, who runs not so much, has about seven pair of really nice cold weather running pants. They sit in his drawer, all lovely and waiting to fulfill their God-given purpose. I do believe I'll be wearing his cold weather running pants from now on, thankyouverymuch.
10. That's my list for today.
2. Once when I was running, I saw a man fall off of the roof of a house. It literally stopped me in my tracks. I wasn't quite sure what the protocol for this was, so I just called out "Are you okay?" And this man pops up out of the bushes, brushing himself off, and says "Yeah, I'm fine. I do it all the time."
What? You do it all the time? Why? Is it, like, recreational?
So I just said "Okay." And kept on running.
3. Best Friend and I are going out to lunch today. This sound like a minor kind of event. But it's actually more like a strategically planned tactical maneuver. I work something like 9-5 hours. She and her husband both work more non-traditional hours. And are raising two beautiful girls. So it's reeeeeally hard for us to coordinate our watches for some quality best friend time. And we've learned the hard way that we should not try to get a sitter for her girls if we would like to lunch. So it's now about picking a day and hoping her husband gets home early enough for us to go. This is our third attempt since December. A tish maddening, but, we gotta do what we gotta do. I'm glad we do it.
4. Yesterday Hubby, who works from home, was gone all day doing work (meaning corporate suck up) type things. So the house was empty. So I stayed home from work. All. by. my. self.
5. Today when I was running, I saw a condom in the middle of the seventeen degree, snow covered road. I did not investigate to see if it was used or not (because ewww!), but all I could think was "that had to have been cold."
6. Six months from today, I'll be seeing U2 live. I'm just saying. I'll be wearing tank top for that. I cannot imagine being warm enough to wear a tank top.
7. I have been having this passionate love affair with dates. As in the dried fruit kind of date. Ohmygosh. I seriously think I have a problem. Once I start, I can't stop. They're sticky and sweet and chewy and yummy. I suppose that's better than having a love affair with, say, heroin. Or triple chocolate mousse pie. But still.
8. I started running with a friend from work once a week. I enjoy it much more than I could have imagined. I haven't run with other humans (aside from races) since high school. I think it's good for me, on many levels.
9. I run a lot, but I have had the same pair of cold weather running pants for about 14 years. They are from K-mart. They were too big when I got them. I have to pull them up like Urkel for them to even think about not falling down. They have been falling apart for about 13 years. But somehow, I can't bring myself to spend lots of money on a real pair of cold weather running pants. Hubby, who runs not so much, has about seven pair of really nice cold weather running pants. They sit in his drawer, all lovely and waiting to fulfill their God-given purpose. I do believe I'll be wearing his cold weather running pants from now on, thankyouverymuch.
10. That's my list for today.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Invincible? Um....
I've accomplished some things in my life that have felt significant to me, that have made me proud or made me feel like I really, truly did something. Lots of things, both personal and professional. But I don't know that I've ever really felt invincible. Empowered? Maybe. But only in my head (or my heart).
Part of that is just me; just how I am. Who I am. I'm quiet. I don't tend to put much importance on the things I do. I'm not sure I ever have. They mean something to me, yes. Usually a great deal. They may, at times, be helpful or meaningful to others, sure. But I don't feel that I'm doing anything of earth shaking importance. I'm just a girl. I set goals. I accomplish them. I move on. (Or if I don't accomplish them, I dwell endlessly on it, but that's for some other time.) Preferably without fanfare.
Another part is, I think, kind of reactionary. I've found myself, by circumstance or life or something, around a lot of people who have a very high level of self-importance, a lot of "look at me." More than their fair share. And I've tended to find that a bit off-putting. And I don't want to be that girl. The one who does something and then needs everyoneeverywhere to tell her how great she is for doing it. The one who makes me wonder what their motivation was in the first place - doing something or getting credit for doing something? I know a lot of that girl (or guy). I don't really like her (or him) so much.
Also, there have been people around me who, I guess, don't like how I am. Like, as a person. Or maybe they don't like how I do things. Or maybe they don't like how I acknowledge (or don't acknowledge) my self. I'm not sure. Maybe they wish I was slightly different. More like them, maybe? I don't know. But it seems that when I do or achieve something, they try to make it part theirs, or something like that. To change it into something else. Almost like they need to impose their idea of how I should react, or what I should want or think or feel or like or do. You know, rather than just respect how I am, or how I regard my own accomplishments, or how I live my own life.
So it just becomes easier to not share things I do with too many others. Which goes back to the first point of reaching goals then moving on. It's odd, I guess, that there are things I've done, of which I am very proud, and very few people even know about it. I'll chatter about silly day-to-day things, sure. Give my opinions, no problem. But big stuff? (At least, big to me.) Not so much.
That's me, though, I suppose. This odd mix of quiet and driven. Who works really hard to meet the goals I set for myself, then doesn't mention it to anyone. But that's what works for me. Maybe that will change someday. But not today. And maybe that's a little bit empowering all by itself. (Just don't tell anyone, okay?)
**********
Tell It to Me Tuesdays
Part of that is just me; just how I am. Who I am. I'm quiet. I don't tend to put much importance on the things I do. I'm not sure I ever have. They mean something to me, yes. Usually a great deal. They may, at times, be helpful or meaningful to others, sure. But I don't feel that I'm doing anything of earth shaking importance. I'm just a girl. I set goals. I accomplish them. I move on. (Or if I don't accomplish them, I dwell endlessly on it, but that's for some other time.) Preferably without fanfare.
Another part is, I think, kind of reactionary. I've found myself, by circumstance or life or something, around a lot of people who have a very high level of self-importance, a lot of "look at me." More than their fair share. And I've tended to find that a bit off-putting. And I don't want to be that girl. The one who does something and then needs everyoneeverywhere to tell her how great she is for doing it. The one who makes me wonder what their motivation was in the first place - doing something or getting credit for doing something? I know a lot of that girl (or guy). I don't really like her (or him) so much.
Also, there have been people around me who, I guess, don't like how I am. Like, as a person. Or maybe they don't like how I do things. Or maybe they don't like how I acknowledge (or don't acknowledge) my self. I'm not sure. Maybe they wish I was slightly different. More like them, maybe? I don't know. But it seems that when I do or achieve something, they try to make it part theirs, or something like that. To change it into something else. Almost like they need to impose their idea of how I should react, or what I should want or think or feel or like or do. You know, rather than just respect how I am, or how I regard my own accomplishments, or how I live my own life.
So it just becomes easier to not share things I do with too many others. Which goes back to the first point of reaching goals then moving on. It's odd, I guess, that there are things I've done, of which I am very proud, and very few people even know about it. I'll chatter about silly day-to-day things, sure. Give my opinions, no problem. But big stuff? (At least, big to me.) Not so much.
That's me, though, I suppose. This odd mix of quiet and driven. Who works really hard to meet the goals I set for myself, then doesn't mention it to anyone. But that's what works for me. Maybe that will change someday. But not today. And maybe that's a little bit empowering all by itself. (Just don't tell anyone, okay?)
**********
Tell It to Me Tuesdays
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