Saturday, March 2, 2013

march. thank you.

january?  february?
they sucked.
really and truly.
i can't give a clear reason why.  i can't point to any one thing that made the past two months extra awful.  there really wasn't anything terribly different than other months.
perhaps it was the combined weight of a dozen other, smaller things from months past,  things that just can't seem to get sorted out, and they just built up and built up until the weight was crushing.
i don't know.
but that's just how it was. 
it was a struggle each day.  to get out of bed.  to make a path from one end of the day to the other.  to do anything that wasn't absolutely necessary.  to play nice.  to smile.  to run.  to be me.
hubby and i laughed out loud (in a sarcastic/bitter way) the day this showed up on the calendar.
 (we left it on the fridge.  as a reminder.)

it seemed almost fitting that i would end the month of february sicker than i've been in years.  kind of like one last "ha!"

then i turned the calendar page.


i brushed off the cobwebs.  took out the hibiscus tea.  hung up a training plan.  registered for spring races.  hunted up the spring detox grocery list.  unpacked the bunnies.

i started to look for silver linings. 

i've gotten as far as "being hideously sick for a week gave me two days off work and allowed me to read two books and watch two movies."

it's a start.  and it's more than i've been able to muster in awhile.

because a page turned. 

and it's time (finally, thankfully) to march forward.


Lyndsay said...

Ooooo... what did you read? Watch?

I hope you're feeling better. And I hope March treats you better.

I'm glad it's March too. Except it looks like December out my window today which isn't encouraging.


MaddyChristine Hope-Brokopp said...

Glad there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel... or at least a work towards it. Hope you truly feel better soon.