march. thank you.

 

january?  february?

 

they sucked.

 

really and truly.

 

i can't give a clear reason why.  i can't point to any one thing that made the past two months extra awful.  there really wasn't anything terribly different than other months.

 

perhaps it was the combined weight of a dozen other, smaller things from months past,  things that just can't seem to get sorted out, and they just built up and built up until the weight was crushing.

 

i don't know.

 

but that's just how it was. 

 

it was a struggle each day.  to get out of bed.  to make a path from one end of the day to the other.  to do anything that wasn't absolutely necessary.  to play nice.  to smile.  to run.  to be me.

 

hubby and i laughed out loud (in a sarcastic/bitter way) the day this showed up on the calendar.

 

 

 (we left it on the fridge.  as a reminder.)

it seemed almost fitting that i would end the month of february sicker than i've been in years.  kind of like one last "ha!"

then i turned the calendar page.

march.

i brushed off the cobwebs.  took out the hibiscus tea.  hung up a training plan.  registered for spring races.  hunted up the spring detox grocery list.  unpacked the bunnies.

i started to look for silver linings. 

i've gotten as far as "being hideously sick for a week gave me two days off work and allowed me to read two books and watch two movies."

it's a start.  and it's more than i've been able to muster in awhile.

because a page turned. 

and it's time (finally, thankfully) to march forward.