Monday, August 20, 2012

so just raise your hands in the air and shout

there are days that you wind up sitting in the parking lot at work, talking on the phone to a friend who is 2,000 miles away.  because she'll understand.

there are days that you smile and giggle when you notice that the cat has acquired a new toy.

there are days in which you decide that a little more prayer might not be a bad thing.

there are days that oh my gosh, you just need to escape.  to anywhere.  fast.

there are days that you are excited about something small that won't last long.  but you're excited anyway.

there are days that someone thinks you need a little extra love.

because life?  it is one mad, twisting roller coaster ride, isn't it?

you capture

Monday, August 13, 2012

a spark in a sea of gray

it really bothers me the way life works; the way it tends to be all one, or all the other.  things will be going wonderfully, and then the bad comes.  and comes.  and comes. 

why can't there be some overlap?  why can't there be some good happening while there is bad happening, just to balance it all out a bit?

right now, life seems to be a convergence of unpleasantness.  and it sucks.

when that happens, we tend to look for light wherever we can. and it usually pops up in unexpected places 

i love birds.  (don't worry, i'm going somewhere with this.)  just birds, in general.  i find them to be lovely.  and graceful.  and optimistic.  i could watch them for hours.  sometimes i do.

there is a song on the most recent coldplay album called "up with the birds."  it, too, is lovely, and graceful, and optimistic.  you can actually see the birds gliding across the sky as the song play.  the music is that evocative.

and this past week, it shuffled in, at a particularly difficult moment.  and the words struck.

no i won't show or feel any pain, even though all my armor might rust in the rain.

a simple plot, but i know one day good things are coming our way.

and somehow....  coldplay? or maybe the birds?  they made me believe it, too.

you capture
(and if you wonder how these fit into the letter b?  laser beams, wrist bands, big crowd, chris martin's blue shirt, guy berryman, jonny buckland, coldplay is a band, i'm sure there are more.....)

Monday, August 6, 2012

cycle through

this training cycle started the last week in june, because chiropractor said it could.  i was very grateful that he said it could.

but this training cycle?  it's been hard.  far harder that i expected it to be.  far harder that (i think) it should be.  far harder than it was this spring.

my right knee is eternally swollen.  i cannot, for the life of me, seem to get any speed.  at all.  it hurts. (and by "it" i mean everything.)  and the whole digestion thing?  not me talk about it. 

and almost every day, i tell myself i don't want to.  it's not worth it.  i'm not going to.  and yet...  every day, i do.

today i got a pedicure because my feet were trashed.  i got a massage because everything hurt.  (i think i mentioned that.)  and i saw chiropractor who said "everthing looks good.  keep going."

and tomorrow?  i'll be at the track.  and it will most likely hurt.  and i'll most likely not be able to get any speed going.  but i'll be there anyway.  because when i was told i could go ahead and start this training cycle, i didn't ask questions like "will it be easy?" or "will it be painless?" 

i just said "thank you." 


Thursday, August 2, 2012

dinner time

best. dinner. ever.


(i swear i had some fruit, too.  you know, to make it healthier.)