Sunday, March 6, 2011

here and now

This was one of my favorite moments today. I wanted to take her picture. She wanted me to take pictures of Scooby Doo. So I did.

She is my niece. She is sweet and cuddly and I'd give her a kidney or a pony or pretty much anything else she wanted. I sometimes tell my sister that if she can't find her middle child, I probably came and took her. But not to worry, because I'll bring her back soon.

I've come to realize that being Aunt is good for me. That's what I can be good at. I can scoop up the little ones I'm surrounded by and take them for ice cream and cupcakes, read them stories, frost cookies with them, supply them books and crayons and drawing paper, cheer for them at dance recitals or sporting events, and tell them just how lovely and wonderful and amazing they are. And then send them home with their mom.

I don't think I'd be quite so good as the actual mom. The fact that I'm 36 years old and have yet to have any seriously strong maternal urges or hear any loud ticking noises kind of backs that up.

I can't quite pinpoint any one reason why I don't think I'm supposed to be a mom. But I also can't remember a time that I really, truly pictured myself with children of my own.

There was a brief time, not too long ago, when I kind of thought maybe Hubby and I should have children. But, really, is that a good reason to have kids? Because you "should?"

I suppose that could all still change. Never say never and all of that.

But sitting here today, my heart is content spending time with a little girl who wants me to take pictures of Scooby Doo, then walks me to the door, gives me kisses, and tells me that she loves me before I drive home for dinner, just Hubby and me.


Lyndsay said...

They're lucky to have you!!

Kirsten said...

I admire people who *know* that parenthood just isn't for them. It takes a big person to know that "should" should never be a reason to have kids. You are a great aunt.

InTheFastLane said...

having kids should never be a "should." And some of my favorite aunties were those who didn't. And they were able to give me all sorts of different experiences and made my life richer.