fall is coming. i can feel it.
birds are massing. leaves are slowly starting to dry and tumble. nights are getting cooler. it was 46 degrees when i woke up this morning.
i took out sparkly plastic gourds and pumpkins today. and i took the "last stage" asics out of the box.
a training cycle is coming to an end. that's a sure sign of fall, too.
but this fall, this cycle, some hard decisions will have to be made.
really, i suppose, the decisions themselves are easy. i know the answers. i know what i need to do. i know what my body is telling me. it's not the decision that will be hard.
it's the emotional fallout that will be hard.
i guess i'm not so sure just how i feel. i expected to be devastated. i've known since the beginning, way back in june, that there was every likelihood that plans would have to change right at the end. and i figured that if that were to happen, i would be crushed.
but now that i'm facing the moment of truth, i'm not feeling so devastated. or crushed. or even sad, really.
i'm not quite sure what to call it. i'll have to think on that.
i just know that right now i have to listen to what my body is telling me. i have to know what it can handle at this point in time.
i am not young anymore. what was easy at 20 (or even 30) is not so easy at 37. i can't possibly count all the miles on me. and i can't possibly count all the miles i have yet to cover. (i'm only 37 after all.)
so i have no desire to push for something that is probably unrealistic right now. it might not always be unrealistic, but right now... probably.
i'd really rather change my plans and be able to enjoy doing what i love so much, not dig in my heels and be in pain and misery doing what i love so much.
i guess what i'm feeling is happy.
because it's fall. and a training cycle is coming to an end. and new running shoes are out of the box. and however plans shift or change, the end result is me doing something i love.