Sunday, May 19, 2013

post script

so, big race was good.

better than i expected.

better than last year.

but.

i still have the but.

as in "better than last year, but still so much slower than before."

i keep thinking at some point that will stop happening.  it took  a full day before i thought it, which is progress.  but...

it hasn't stopped happening yet.  but someday,  maybe.

just before big race, i mentioned the "m word" to chiropractor.  his response was "well... let's see how big race goes, and then we'll think about thinking about talking about a possible marathon at some point."  that's his way of saying no, because he knows i don't like  "no" very much. 

although the funny thing is, i'm really okay with the absence of marathons.  i mean, i'd give just about anything to still be running them, but still.  i vividly remember my only post knee implosion marathon.  or more accurately, i remember the minutes/hours/weeks following my only post knee implosion marathon.  it was awful (huge giant massive understatement).  and i really don't ever want to do that again.  but still.

i'm heading into a summer that will not be filled with marathon training.  and i'm not sure what to do with that.

there are 12 days left in this work year.  big race part 2 falls toward the end of those three weeks.  the month between part 1 and part 2 has not been easy on any front.  but i'm still looking forward to part 2.  i'm curious how everything will hold together, if everything will hold together.  i feel like it will be good for me. push me.  test me.

and i think that's what i'm really looking for, wanting, needing now. 

a good push.

a test.

i've got a summer to figure it out.


stride on.

2 comments:

InTheFastLane said...

I am so glad you had a good race day!!!
And which ever way you chose to challenge yourself next, it is still about the pushing and training and STILL being smart, more than it is about the distance or time. It is sometimes about being glad you can, whatever the distance.

quicklikeabunny said...

Hooray for a successful big race 1. Hooray for looking forward to big race 2 already. And hooray for looking for challenges - they might be different challenges than what you expected to be seeking but they will still be challenges. Challenges are good. And so really - hooray for striding forward and not looking back.