big time

i've already started packing.  well, i've started making piles.  i'm a little unclear as to what i'll need.  the weather's been a bit schizophrenic, so i've got pants, capris, shorts, tank tops, short sleeves, long sleeves, fleece, several hat and headband choices, gloves, and a scarf.

i don't leave for five days, but still. i need to prepare.

it's almost big race weekend.

it tends to be my favorite weekend of the year.

but.

the build up?  it's been less than perfect.

and that has me nervous.

we've had nothing but coldwindyrainysnowy weather for ages.  it's  made for some less than pleasant outdoor training.  and forced more indoor training than i'd like.

life has interfered, more than i would have liked, in sad and upsetting ways, leading to late workouts, sleepless nights, and other unhappy side effects. 

 when i think about my speedwork, speed needs air quotes.  because there really hasn't been any.  speed, that is.  and i'm not sure why.  i've been working as hard as i can  (really.  i'm not one to do something half way, you know?).  it's just that it doesn't seem to be working.  is it the coldwindyrainysnowy weather we've been having?  it is my knees?  is is my knees reacting to the coldwindyrainysnowy weather we've been having? 

am i just getting old?

who knows.

but.

the thing is, i'm still excited. 

more excited than nervous.

there is a hotel room waiting, an expo to wander, a big dinner to eat, bricks to kiss.

there is fun and smiles and happy waiting for me.

and in the end it all comes down to one simple, joy-filled thing.

slow or fast, ready or not,

i'm going running.


stride on.