Monday, July 26, 2010

all by my self

So, this weekend, upon returning from the vacation, interrupted we were at a family gathering, and various family members were asking about the trip, and I was talking about my day wandering about by myself. And my mom said something to the effect of she should have come along for that day, too.

My reply?

Then I wouldn't have been able to spend the day alone. Because that one day was the one day of the trip that I was most looking forward to.

I am a solitary person. Some might say introverted. Some might even say anti-social. But really, I'm solitary.

I have no problem being on my own, doing things by myself. Sometimes (okay, often) I'd kind of prefer it.

I love my family, my friends, Hubby. I treasure the time I spend with them. There is absolutely a time and place to be with the people who fill your life.

But there is a time and a place for solitude, too. For being and doing on your own.

I think that's probably true for everyone. But for me, the time for solitude is greater, longer, more necessary than the time for being with others.

It doesn't always work out that way. It almost never works out that way. But it would be my preference, in a perfect world.

So that one day of vacation that was just me, my camera, a book, and a whole, big, wide open day? That was like a little bit of Heaven on Earth.

It offered me a chance to reconnect to myself. To stop and remember who I am, way down inside, in the place holds the most important pieces of me. To remember what I was like before the pressing demands of so on and so forth became a constant presence in life. To think that maybe there's a way to bring part of that girl back to the surface.

It offered me a chance to spend very little time speaking and a whole lot of time listening. So I did. I listened to the water. To the wind. To the birds. To my breath. I might have even heard some answers.

And when that day was over, I was happy to see Hubby again. To give him a hug and hear about his day. It was time for us to be together again. Time for the "real world" to begin again. And I do like my real world. A lot.

But I'm so thankful, so grateful, for that one, brief day in which my only companion was solitude.


Jade @ Tasting Grace said...

I'm exactly the same way. I actually get a little overwhelmed with too much time spent with friends & family. For my hubby, the more the merrier, but I really relish time to myself. I think his friends (in the more casual circles, not the really close ones) think I don't like them because I often choose not to hang out with them. But I view it as a chance for him to get some quality boy time and for me to get some quality me-time. I think a lot of people don't understand why one would want to do that! LOL

I'm really glad you got some you time. That's fabulous and you sound like you're feeling much better for it. Calmer, more at peace. That's really great!

nicole said...

I'm exactly like that...I get frazzled after being around people for a long time and need that time with just myself, a cup of coffee and a good book. Luckily Adam sleeps in on the weekends so the mornings are my time :)

Lyndsay said...

That sounds like an awesome day. I'm in the same boat as Jade - my Hubs has the 'more the merrier' mentality too, while I can only take that in small doses.
Hubs works 2 evenings a week, and (most of the time) I look forward to those evenings when I can get into my jammies as soon as Munchie is in bed and read my book for a couple of hours.

I'm glad you enjoyed your day!!

jaime said...

I love days to myself - though they're very few and far between. That's probably why I love them so much. :) Good for you, for taking that time to be by yourself!