Saturday, August 27, 2011

being green

I can remember being smallish (although I don't remember just how smallish) and seeing Kermit the Frog singing Being Green. And I remember crying. Really crying.

"It's not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow, or gold
Or something much more colorful like that"

I was sad, because Kermit was sad. And I didn't want Kermit to be said.

That was not the only time I cried as I listened to Being Green. It was merely the first time.

And eventually, when I wasn't so smallish anymore, I started to realize that maybe I was crying for myself, too.

"It's not easy being green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over
'Cause you're not standing out
Like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky"

I felt that. I was ordinary, plain. I blended in. I was easy to overlook. Not that I was looking to stand out or receive accolades, or anything even remotely like that. But at the same time, I wanted someone to notice me, to acknowledge me, just to see me.

And so I cried.

I haven't heard Being Green in years. Eight years? Ten years? It's been a long time. But last night, driving home, I heard Andrew Bird sing Being Green.

And I cried. I cried for the smallish girl, and the not so smallish girl, who just wanted someone to see her.

But then...

"But green's the color of spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like a mountain
Or important like a river
Or tall like a tree"

I realized that somewhere in the past few years something shifted in me. Some time, some way, at some point, something in me settled in. Somewhere along the line, I've become kind of comfortable. Somewhere along the line, it became far less important for someone to see me. Because somewhere along the line, I saw myself.

"When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why
But why wonder why wonder
I am green, and it'll do fine
It's beautiful, and I think it's what I want to be"

And driving home last night, I smiled through the tears.


InTheFastLane said...

And you are coming into your own.
The place where being you is really all that is needed. And having other people notice, just secondary.

Kirsten said...

I love this post. I *get* this post. And I'm so happy that you're now smiling through the tears.

Lyndsay said...

Well this is what the internet tells me:

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and fertility. Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety. Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human eye; it can improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope. Olive green is the traditional color of peace.

That sounds pretty good to me.

~L said...

heartfelt. I enjoyed this. peace ~L