they're floating around in my head.
words. and words. and words.
but they're stuck in my head.
and i can't figure out how to get them out.
there are things i want to say, to people i love and care about.
but i just can't get the words out.
i have emails i want and need to send. thank yous to wonderful friends who sent wonderful gifts from far away. and i want to tell them how much i love and appreciate and miss and love.
but forming the words into sentences, and the sentences into paragraphs, and the paragraphs into a letter.... i just can't seem to do it.
i sit down and stare at a blank screen. and then i get up and find something else to do, hoping the words will find a way out as i do the something else. but they don't.
there are people i would love to sit down and share a cup of tea with, and catch up on everything we've missed. but the thought of having to talk about everything we've missed is exhausting to me. i'd be happy to sip my tea and listen. but talking? i just can't seem to do it.
i've even gone so far as to become impatient and frustrated with people who want to talk to me, who want me to talk to them. people i love, see often, everyday.
i'm not sure why this is. why right now.
maybe i'm tired? maybe i'm full of stress? maybe i'm sad? maybe it's the weather or the phases of the moon or lack of good green tea at the grocery? maybe it's because other peoples' lives are far more interesting or the grass is always greener or it just seems that way?
or maybe this is just what is for right now.
maybe this is what is supposed to be right now.
and i think, if i just be patient, and silently send my love and gratitude out into the ether, and be patient some more, and give myself this time, it will all work itself out.