Sunday, April 19, 2009

Intention or Perception?

So, lately I've been thinking about intention and perception. And which is more important in dealings between people.

If a person does something with the best of intentions, but it is perceived negatively by the other person, which of those wins? The intention or the perception? What I've come up with it this.

I think that if one person takes another's actions as negative, they should talk to that person. Say to them "it upset me or hurt me when you did that." Then it's up to the other person to try and fix it, for lack of a better term. To say "oh wow, I so totally did not mean it that way.... what did I do or say to make you think otherwise because I don't want to do that again." I think then both parties are working to correct the situation. I think that shows some mutual caring and respect. I think those kinds of situations, although probably awkward and difficult and perhaps embarrassing, will work out just fine.

But if one person say to another "hey when you did that, it upset or hurt me" and the other person says "well, you're wrong, I didn't do that" then maybe there's a problem. Is it that the need to be right is stronger than the need to be caring? Is that a person who is self-centered? Is it just someone who's kind of dense? I don't know. But if that kind of thing keeps happening, I start to wonder if that's the kind of person that I want to be a part of my life.

So I guess I'm starting to think that intention is important. But if your intentions routinely do not come across in your actions, then the perception of others really needs to start carrying some weight.

Does any of that make any sense at all?

1 comment:

mommy boo of two said...

I think communication is important to help bridge the gap between intentions and perception. But, if that communication isn't there, then both are subject to interpretation. So, I suppose my point is to keep those lines of communication open and maybe there won't be a reason for that bridge to be there anymore. I hope that makes sense.