Friday, May 8, 2009

Forward Moving

So, today I’m not using crutches at all. I’m slow, but I’m moving. I was able to do my full yoga practice (not to the fullest, but still, all the poses, to some degree). With the help of yoga blocks, I was almost able to sit properly for meditation. I used the elliptical for the second day in a row; with a little speed, even. The old knee is still stiff, sore, and puffy. I still can't straighten my leg all the way. I’m still doing as much sitting as I can. But it’s better.

I credit Acupuncturist for this leap forward. Treatment on Wednesday did wonders. She reminded me about the sooji thing I can do to my fingers (the thing that hurts way more than someone sticking little needles all over your body). She put tacks in my ears (they’re still there, at least for a few more days). And the knee felt noticeably better after all that.

And last night I used the crazy detox foot pad things that Hubby ordered for me. I don’t actually understand it, but it sure did something. It was white when I stuck it to my foot before bed, and it was black and smelly and kind of oily when I took it off this morning. And I liked it. Really a lot. Unfortunately, they’re a little too pricey to get obsessed over. (Or maybe not unfortunately, because, really, I probably don’t need anything else to obsess over at this point. I kind of obsess over a lot.)

I guess it’s all a start. I do remember feeling good. I know what it’s like. Now I just have to head back there is all. (I think this is one of those things easier said than done.)

And I maybe have to come to terms with not ever being as thin or in as good of shape as I was last year. That took a hell of a lot of work and deprivation. I don’t think I actually have the time or the motivation to go that all out again.

I do actually know there is more to life than running. So, I can deal with being a little rounder (I think). I just really need to keep that in check, is all. And I usually do that with movement. I move a lot, and I can be a little less picky about what I eat because of it. And my movement has been particularly limited lately. And my eating hasn’t actually changed with that limitation (and the whole eating when I’m sad thing doesn’t help, either. Yes, I know I do it. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to not do it. Especially when I'm sad. See the little conundrum there?) And I’m me, so I'm sort of freaking out about it. I’m hoping that once movement returns, all will be well again.

If not, um….. It will.

PS – There is no way I’m going to not eat chocolate. Forty chocolate-less days a year is enough.


Bacardi Mama said...

I'm glad you are starting to feel better. Can I just say that you haven't been fat since you were six months old, so I don't think you have to worry about weight. I have the crazy detox foot things too. I just haven't tried them yet. Thanks for reminding me. See you tomorrow. Love you!

InTheFastLane said...

I always wondered if those foot things were a scam. But, whatever works...right?

You will get there. And you will feel good and you will enjoy whatever adventures await.
And there is my optimism shining through after all :)

ShowSomeLovin said...

i didn't even notice tacks in your ear today! plus .. that's really funny what mom said about you not being fat since you were six months old :) she's right .. i've seen the pictures ;)

find something to smile about!!! or just start smiling and see what you think of!!!