So, Steven Tyler fell off the stage in Sturgis (yes, it's okay to laugh, even though it's technically not funny), broke his shoulder, and needed twenty stitches in his head.
Why is this pertinent to me? Because Best Friend and I were supposed to be seeing Aerosmith next Friday. And now we're not. At all. Because they did not postpone the show. They canceled the tour.
Yep. Best Friend and I, we really should have seen this coming. Read on and you'll understand....
This post was originally meant for Friday, August 28, 2009. Here it is in it's entirety. Why? Because I took the time to write it. That's why....
So, tonight, Best Friend and I make our umpteenth pilgrimage to see Aerosmith. It is our thing. Almost sacred, I dare say. And while the days are long gone that we could make our way around the mid-west and see The Boys play multiple times, it is a done deal that we will at least make it to our local show. There have been many, many Aero-adventures (Because apparently, we cannot see Aerosmith without some kind of odd mishap - sometimes involving 25,000 pounds of butter. But I digress.). I will share one of the best with you now....
Best Friend and I decided it was time for us to see The Boys in Indianapolis. We had never seen them there, after all. We met up at her house in the afternoon (1ish, I believe). We made pizza and feasted. We packed water and snacks. We took to the road with waaaaaaaaay more than enough time to get to the venue with our bums in our seats well before the opening act took the stage.
And then God realized that it was us. Going to see Aerosmith. And our plans went out the window.
The first sign of trouble was the line of vehicles waiting to get off the expressway. Because this concert was being held in Indiana, the venue was in the middle of a field. The field being conveniently located in the Middle of Nowhere. And there's just the one road that lead to the Middle of Nowhere . And it took us about and hour to get on to that road.
It took us another 90 minutes to be within sight of the venue.
And then another 45 minutes to get into the parking lot. (Okay, saying parking lot is a generous overstatement. It was a big, rutted field. Indiana, remember?)
In the line to get into the parking field, we could hear the opening act playing (it being an outdoor venue and all). Car windows were open all up and down the line of cars (filled with disgruntled divers and passengers). Expletives were overheard. (Okay, so maybe we might have uttered a few ourselves.)
As soon as the car with in park, we were out and running. We did make it to our seats in time to hear the last song of the opening act. Sighs of relief were breathed.
The Boys were amazing. Which is, of course, needless to say.
Then it was time to go. And we realized that in our haste to get into the venue, we had absolutely no idea whatsoever where we had parked. It was a portent of things to come.
We found a very friendly worker who kindly and patiently helped us locate our vehicle. We got in. We started the car. We noticed that no one was moving. By now, they really should have been. It had taken us a long time to find the car. But no. No one was moving. And no one knew why.
So we sat there. And sat there. And sat there. And sat there.
After 90 minutes of sitting in cars that weren't moving, people started to get out of their cars and complain. They found out that there were, in fact, four different parking fields around the venue. And they were being emptied one at a time. Guess who would be the last to go?
Exactly two and a half hours after the show had ended, our field started to empty. All of our wonderful new friends did everything in their power to get us to the front of the line, knowing that we had the longest drive home. (We'd had a lot of time to get to know each other, after all.)
We started our three hour trip home at 1:30 in the morning. We had left home at 2:00 in the afternoon. We'd eaten nothing of substance (Wheat Thins and water don't count) since that pizza. And there is just nothing open in the middle of Indiana in the middle of the night in the middle of the week. We came across and 24 hour Steak n' Shake at about quarter to three. They serve, um, nothing for the vegetarian set. Except shakes.
The slap happiness set in about 3:30. Thank God it was Best Friend's turn driving, because I was laughing so hard I could not see through the tears.
At about 4:30 in the morning, I drove right through a red light. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE TO BE SEEN FOR MILES - EXCEPT US.
We arrived at Best Friend's house at about 5:00. I was home by 5:30.
Please let tonight be much less eventful. And much shorter.
But still rockin'.
(Okay, so about that 25,000 pounds of butter? That time we sat in park on the highway for about 90 minutes because a semi had overturned, spilling, you guessed it, 25,000 pounds of butter on to the highway. And it all had to be cleaned up before traffic could begin moving again. Seriously. These are the things that happen when Best Friend and I are together and Aerosmith is involved.)