This week of the year always seems a bit odd, a bit off, to me.
After all the build-up to Christmas, the baking and the lights and the trees and the decorations and the wrapping and the happy.... It's over. And there's this feeling of "now what?"
Once things are over and done, I don't necessarily like to linger, but I also kind of have a hard time letting go. I've got most of my holiday decorations packed up and put away. But the tree is still up, still shining in the window. It will make me sad to take it down this weekend.
There are also some random presents still lying about. I tend to do that. I think it's because I like the newness of them. Sometimes, when things are new, I really want them to stay new. I don't want to use them or wear them out or break them in. I don't know why. I've been that way for as long as I can remember. I try to keep things perfect and new. And I get a little sad when I finally do have to use them and make them not new anymore. Which, I guess, is extra odd since all of the material things that are most special to me are nowhere near new, and haven't been for a long time.
Yesterday I bought new running shoes. I should have done it months ago. But this morning, I sat and stared at them for a long time before I actually put them on. Then there was this really long pause before I went out the door. Because once they hit the pavement, they weren't new any more. They were just shoes.